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Stop Its Hammer Time Size Does Matter Part 2

Hello my warrior peoples. It's been a while since I've last made a thread so read closely dammit! As some of you might know I'm the type of Paladin who loves to swing big things! awesome things! two handed things! all around back and forth up and down back up and round again! Using only the biggest and coolest hammers! So yes size does matter!

On my previous quest for the perfect hammer of grandest size, I've encountered many different ones of various sizes, colors, textures, and weight. Yes weight because the heavier it is, the slower it is to magnificently swing it! Swing it all around nice and slow or fast and hard. Depends how you like to smash Me? I like smashing things real hard but slow to enjoy every last little bit of momentum of all that pleasurable thrust!

During my quest I somehow stumbled upon a Timeless Bellocce, this Hammer was alright pretty decent. Not so impressive but still slightly flashy nonetheless. I gave it a swing and it felt.. well.. bland sorry to say, it just didn't have the heft I longed for. One day when I was hanging out near the Gachapon my friend came along and started using the machine, out came a Fearless Bellocce, and an Abyss Bellocce! He knew my love interest for hammers and rewarded me with both of them. So now with my newly adopted collection of the same Hammer in essence, I decided to only keep one since depressingly, you can only have 1 at a time in your hands. I'd prefer to have one in each hand jerking each one around every which way >:C smacking monsters in the face! Anyway I decided to keep the Timeless Bellocce since it was the first one I had out of the trio and I didn't have the heart to abandon my friend.

Few weeks later some event or whatever came out and I had encountered a most lovely Big tempest Maul of sensuality. This shiny chrome and blue tipped Hammer of happy fun time is epic! Literally actually, the potential granted 12 attack on one line! So I knew I had to keep it! So shiny so authentic so rock hard! Although the Hammer was every bit of pleasant it was also high maintenance. The world is cruel to shiny things so alas my quest continued building my collection of big hammers!

So months later I got both my hands wrapped around a big, bad, beautiful purple Grand Maple Amethysian Big Maul! This hammer is not only grand and big! it also matches my hair, my gloves, my hat, and my clothes. I was very delighted to hold it in my hands and even lay it on my arm since it's so big! It's very nice to just swing it around with no regard to anything or any monsters in the surrounding area.

It was only until recently when I was wandering around aimlessly throughout the Free Market.. there I saw .. IT! The most enticing.. lip licking, huge thickest biggest hardest Hammer I've ever witnessed in maple. The Fafnir Lightning Striker! Oh my glorious God in heaven and Jesus of Nazzereth and all that is good and holy! This massive divine royal Hammer of delectable striking! I knew I had to have it! Love at first sight never letting it leave my enthralling wrath of love. At the time, it was the only lone Fafnir 2H mace in all of Scania. So I knew I had to act fast and obtain it, and so I did. This Sex Hammer I graciously named it, I worked hard to perfect it to the best I could, given my amount of funds and available resources I have. I painstakingly farmed leaves because Nexon took upon the trend to make you work for coins for every god forsaken event in the past year and a half turning this game into a horrendous chore rather than entertaining. What a game this is. So finally after farming many leaves and buying clean slate over and over and over and over eventually... eventually.. and finally eventually my Sex Hammer of Fafnir was 90 Strength, 96 Dexterity, 50 Intelligence, 50 Luck, 125 Accuracy, 30% Boss Damage, 10% Ignore Monster Defense, and 246 Attack. All after a 5 star enhancement scroll. As well as Unique potential with 30% Boss Damage. I then placed a 3 month lock on it. Sure it can't be traded or transferred however with much town lag these days combined with paranoia of hackers it never hearts to lock your dearest Sex Hammer to you.

So for now my quest for the ultimate biggest Hammer has come to a close. With that I urge you all to each own just one! Two Handed Hammer it's your duty as a Paladin, a warrior, and as a Holy user.

Amen.

Which was your favorite Hammer of the story!