Solitude is my middle name
This is going to be me, fully open since I've had a deep connection with this forum even though I haven't been active in it for a good couple of years.
In a way it's a vent of mine, but if I'll get even one good advice out of it I'll be psyched.
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I'm a 22 man, [url=http://i61.tinypic.com/2i9gtar.jpg]not "HOT DAYUM!" sexy, not ugly[/url] it's been a year since I finished my mandatory service in the military, ever since I've been traveling across country, had two trips abroad, got a [url=http://i62.tinypic.com/5d6vtg.jpg]wicked[/url] tattoo worked a couple of months and mostly enjoyed my free time as a free man.
The thing that describes me most is being a gamer, I play allot, in average I'd say I'm on the computer 7-9 hours a day.
I also read books, am a music fanatic, like to watch series, movies and animes. I hang out with friends couple days a week but I'm a big fan of solitude.
Luckily in a couple of days I'm going to start studying for the matriculations exams since I haven't finished high-school successfully, so I'll be forced out of my heavy computer hours into studying and more socializing in school.
This thread is about me being alone, for my entire life I've been alone. I've had a good amount of friends, some stayed others left, some I left but I never really had a partner.
I absolutely can't socialize in the first encounter when there's a big crowd and in general I hate crowded places,
I'm quite shy at first specially with the ladies and never was much of a confident man.
The furthest I've gotten with women is a date with one girl which went as good as I could have asked for only I wasn't interested in a relationship with her in the end.
The second (and sadly last) time there were a couple of dates when in the last I very-un-confidently-sort-of asked to kiss her but she wasn't interested.
Being alone always bothered me, it pains me as a person who [i]loves[/i] to give and love freely, to not have the feeling of someone love me back,
I did have a couple of internet relationships but I wouldn't really want to talk about those right now.
I love myself, I've changed vastly the last couple of years if it's socially, mentally, personality-wise or comprehensively and I always encounter this empty feeling of being alone and try to coupe with it. Sometimes I manage to escape it for a couple of minutes, days, weeks but it always comes back and it's extremely painful to bare it alone since even though my parents are caring and I do have a couple of friends who I could vent to feeling safe, I still rather keep it to myself for I feel they wouldn't really understand.
If you read all this column of words I kindly appreciate it and wish you a blessed weekend! If you think you might have anything to say.. I'd love to hear it if it's through PM or a comment.
P.S.
"Blaze wizard"... I love it
6 Comments • Newest first
[quote=iDrinkOJ]go to the gym and work out, get rip body, join a club or interest group, make friends at work/school, invest in your yourself (intellectually, physically, professionally) then you will attract more females or at least be content with yourself[/quote]
For a while now I've been wanting to take a couple of swimming lessons so I could start practicing on my own correctly, tomorrow I'll hit up an instructor! thanks
[quote=RLxBellz]I suggest you primarily focus on your studies. Education, knowledge, learning; they're all important things and I consider learning to be a privilege that others may not get the chance of attaining. Don't think of it as 'receiving' knowledge, but 'claiming' it. By that, I mean, take your education seriously, you deserve to learn about the world around you and most importantly about yourself. You will see your strengths, but also your own limitations. Use this as an opportunity to grow as an individual and in the future, you'll be able to teach others of the knowledge you've claimed for yourself.
As for being [i]a person who loves to give and love freely, &to not have the feeling of someone love me back[/i], if you can give all your love to the [b]wrong[/b] person, can you imagine how much love you can give to the [b]right[/b] one? How lucky they must be! All I can say is, don't rush into something as sensitive as love. Don't go chasing after people and don't try to force someone into feeling the same way you feel for them. Let it happen gracefully and when you know you're in love, it'll be the most beautiful thing.
I love that you love yourself the most though. Lately, you've changed your behavior/thoughts so that you're more proud of yourself. The advice that i'm going to give to you is one that i'm following myself, and that's to reach out to others, in any way that you can. Greet strangers on the street, offer compliments to people, help as much as you can, and be yourself. You'll be surprised by how you'll attract people by reaching out first. The best thing is, is that you'll attract all the [b]right[/b] people and you'll learn so much about each &everyone of them &who knows, maybe [i]the one[/i] for you is among them?
Have a wonderful day ![/quote]
For now I feel an obligation when it comes to my studies since these are tests which I need to pass with a high grade to attend any self-respecting university, I treat those as my second chance (since they are) and I will invest myself heavily into succeeding. When it'd come to higher-education I will come with a different attitude of bond to the subject I'll learn what-ever it may be.
Thanks for saying that, I may be in-love with the notion of 'love' and I will take into my attention to not jump over my head when i'll be in a situation of a relationship. At least I'll try, other than me being an emotional man I know how hard it is sometimes to control emotions, specially when I'll be exposed to those once again with a 'real' girlfriend and not in an internet relationship.
I'm a very Introverted person, although my social exposure and behavior patterns changed vastly the last couple of years I am still not as confident as many would describe themselves when it comes to interactions with others, yet I am glad that I am aware of it and I will try and add your tip to my regular actions when encountering strangers and people I vaguely know, I'm certain It'd boost my self-confidence, social skills and in general make others' and my days happier.
From where I am I wish you both a good night, and a week filled with positive surprises along with many thanks
I suggest you primarily focus on your studies. Education, knowledge, learning; they're all important things and I consider learning to be a privilege that others may not get the chance of attaining. Don't think of it as 'receiving' knowledge, but 'claiming' it. By that, I mean, take your education seriously, you deserve to learn about the world around you and most importantly about yourself. You will see your strengths, but also your own limitations. Use this as an opportunity to grow as an individual and in the future, you'll be able to teach others of the knowledge you've claimed for yourself.
As for being [i]a person who loves to give and love freely, &to not have the feeling of someone love me back[/i], if you can give all your love to the [b]wrong[/b] person, can you imagine how much love you can give to the [b]right[/b] one? How lucky they must be! All I can say is, don't rush into something as sensitive as love. Don't go chasing after people and don't try to force someone into feeling the same way you feel for them. Let it happen gracefully and when you know you're in love, it'll be the most beautiful thing.
I love that you love yourself the most though. Lately, you've changed your behavior/thoughts so that you're more proud of yourself. The advice that i'm going to give to you is one that i'm following myself, and that's to reach out to others, in any way that you can. Greet strangers on the street, offer compliments to people, help as much as you can, and be yourself. You'll be surprised by how you'll attract people by reaching out first. The best thing is, is that you'll attract all the [b]right[/b] people and you'll learn so much about each &everyone of them &who knows, maybe [i]the one[/i] for you is among them?
Have a wonderful day !
I'll be your lover OP.
@iDrinkOJ
She can also be your lover.
go to the gym and work out, get rip body, join a club or interest group, make friends at work/school, invest in your yourself (intellectually, physically, professionally) then you will attract more females or at least be content with yourself
[quote=reverexx2]Well, if you're aiming for uni I think you should branch out to others in your first year, then over the next few years grow closer to them. It's harder to be satisfied with friends that you make later on if they have a lot of baggage and some indeed do.[/quote]
I have a good couple of years until I'll start the university stage in my life, need to do some studying first and maybe work a couple of extra months so I could travel to the east.
Although I will try to branch out to other people when I'll start my matriculation studies in two days, it'd be even harder for me since it'd be in a big group but I hope and plan for the best.
Well, if you're aiming for uni I think you should branch out to others in your first year, then over the next few years grow closer to them. It's harder to be satisfied with friends that you make later on if they have a lot of baggage and some indeed do.