General

Aww. My boyfriend lives in Canada (near Toronto) and I live in Florida too. We've known each other for only 7 months but I've visited him 3 times already. Just got back from a week vacation there actually. Our situations are similar but a little different. For one my bf and I are both in our 20s so seeing each other isn't as difficult. I'm in college and he's working. It was hard to tell my parents about him but so far everything is okay. They will meet him next month probably.

I wish you two the best of luck. Spend time together and be happy with each other. Don't neglect your other real life relationships though. Also, I'm jealous of you in a way. Since you're just 16 it's totally possible for you to apply to schools in Canada and move closer to him. Since I'm almost done with my first degree it would be difficult for me to relocate right now. It will probably be another 2 or 3 years until we can live together.

im laughing

The idea of falling in love and getting caught in the loop. I guarantee you, you gonna get hurt.

My last relationship started the same way, I was 16 and he was 19 and across the country. I'm 21 now and we broke up about 4 months ago. I was frustrated that he started to shut me out of his life which ended our relationship at least 3 times before and this last time it turned out he cheated. And looking back, it seems I missed out on some things a growing teenager should have enjoyed.
Pretty much over him by now but I feel toxic.

Your family is looking out for your best interests and it doesn't always mean your happiness. idk by now someone already said that. Good luck on all those relationships, and if the bf doesn't work out, you'll have your family and stuff.

@Zoneflare4: mhm so take care of that. rational talk wont help anymore

@Nashi: well we both agree that he needs to be locked away for awhile or at least have some sense smacked into him

@Zoneflare4: Don't worry about her much (worry about someone else.. cough....), she's pretty chill and mature about it all > w< talking to her on LINE atm.

@Nashi: I saw this thread but didn't and will continue to take it seriously cause of the OPs age. If she were at least 20 then I would take her as a serious adult who didn't get a foolish mindset just from watching tv or reading which is easy to tell without knowing her.

@ZedsDead: And what makes you think that every LDR is the same thing when we've already seen each other? We know how we are. We act childish, we've met some family, we've had our differences.
And none of your friends are losers because they're your friends, but I bet you wouldn't tell them half the crap you just told me. Catfish or not he has a good personality. I'm shallow, but not THAT shallow to leave someone just because they look slightly off. And how would you know how their relationship was 'sick' and 'unhealthy' besides the fact that they wanted to see each other? You have no real right of saying anything if you haven't even tried it.
That's like saying " Here, this orange is too orange, take it. I don't like it."
LDR's seem pathetic to you because maybe you've been in so much 'desperation' that you probably tried it once before, but failed ultimately, so now you're just going around telling other people that their LDR's will be a complete and utter failure.
I am making guesses. If you can't accept the fact that there are people like me out there that has found an LDR and is very happy within it then please take your communistic butt out of here.

[quote=KiDxHealer] @ZedsDread: I don't understand what you're getting so worked up about... I mean, it's not like it's affecting you in any way. Yeah, I understand that I'm young, but that's life today. We dare to try.
And you're sounding more like a communist just for calling Nashi a hippie for actually spouting words of truth. My parents ENCOURAGE me to choose who I want. They may not like my choices, but they're still there. I'm not some hippie looking for peace and love. I'm just trying to find out whether I'm actually wrong for doing this and what's so wrong about it. I'm not ashamed of my relationship and I do flaunt about it because so far, I'm happy. And if anything happens then oh well. That's my fault and I'll deal with the consequences.
It's not like I'm going to be those 'cut for beiber' girls from a year ago. If it happens, it happens. [b]Some of your friends are probably doing a LDR right now and you probably won't tell them half the crap you're spewing now.[/b] Just saying. o.o[/quote]

No, none of my friends are losers. My cousin was in a LDR for 4 months and she turned out to be a catfish. Their relationship was sick and unhealthy, and he was devastated over something that had no chance anyway. [i]Pathetic.[/i]

@KiDxHealer: well you can at least make yourself a great adulthood! And just say no more strongly. If they get mad explain them why, if they're still mad then tell them if they can't accept a no and you MUST always be there for them they're too much to handle (energy-suckers) and you feel both of you are better off cutting ties.
It's a little hard at first, especially when people try to make you feel guilty for it (which is normal. Imagine, they're used to you "serving" them and who wants to lose a servant or comfort? Ofc their first reaction will be aggressive so they can keep their "standard", which is why you have to be extra strong about it.)
Don't be scared of maybe possibly missing them or something. When you're rid of people who caused you stress most of the time you will feel SO freed, like a lot of weight fell off your shoulders. It's worth all the trouble ^^
and you're welcome (2nd quote directed to me didn't wanna tag you a 2nd time) I guess. xD
Ahh with some people you just can't talk cause they're scared they may be proven wrong so they often pull this "I didn't read"-card don't worry about such people but it's sweet you're defending me<3
@Zoneflare4: I'm amazed you finally have found this thread lmao o.O Take care of the business you're supposed to take care of ~w~ (think about what we talked about on LINE). HURRY.

@metaghost4: Asian parents these days...

@Nashi: I think he's denying his own facts because my whole family isn't telling me this... It's just my grandparents because, like Metaghost said, majority of the time it's business or to bring some relatives from Vietnam down to the USA. And thank you for mainly explaining what I wasn't able to say. ^-^

@ZedsDread: I don't understand what you're getting so worked up about... I mean, it's not like it's affecting you in any way. Yeah, I understand that I'm young, but that's life today. We dare to try.
And you're sounding more like a communist just for calling Nashi a hippie for actually spouting words of truth. My parents ENCOURAGE me to choose who I want. They may not like my choices, but they're still there. I'm not some hippie looking for peace and love. I'm just trying to find out whether I'm actually wrong for doing this and what's so wrong about it. I'm not ashamed of my relationship and I do flaunt about it because so far, I'm happy. And if anything happens then oh well. That's my fault and I'll deal with the consequences.
It's not like I'm going to be those 'cut for beiber' girls from a year ago. If it happens, it happens. Some of your friends are probably doing a LDR right now and you probably won't tell them half the crap you're spewing now. Just saying. o.o

@metaghost4: I'm not saying we're bad, I'm just wondering if what I'm doing is so bad that majority of my friends have to go against me about it and why my grandparents would despise it when they want to ruin my life with an arranged marriage.

@Nashi: I wish I could have that type of child hood q-q It was always school and listen and get home and do nothing. I'm still messing around with finances since I'm not completely done with my setup. I've tried saying no before and they would all get mad at me as if I was the bad one.

LIFE :[

Oh well. I guess that'll help me get rid of the useless ones

@ZedsDead: you're too shallow and ignorant then. No point in paying any more attention to you

@metaghost4: yea and after that she can be violated and killed. Then become just another cold case since no one would have the faintest clue as to where she went.

@Nashi: I didn't bother reading your lengthy novel of a reply. Your first sentence tells me that you are, like the OP, naive and too immature for relationships, even in your "mature age."

"Neither. I'm too old to be naive and I don't lie either (I just see no purpose in it)."

Losing ones naivety comes with [i]experience[/i], NOT age. This is a NAIVE belief. If you don't lie, that's understandable, but not being able to see the purpose in it shows that you are still like a wide-eyed child inside. If your experience with LDR was good, you are the exception and not the rule. Statistics, common-sense, and even her parents are all telling her this.

@Nashi:
some science article in a science magazine, a couple years back. but it's google-able too v
[url=http://teenbrain.drugfree.org/science/behavior.html]1[/url] [url=http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=124119468]2[/url] [url=http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/teenage-brain1.htm]3[/url]

@metaghost4 are you freaking insane? Why would you even suggest that a 16 year old girl lie to her family and visit a guy that she only met online? Girls have been exploited and killed because of doing such reckless actions.

@ZedsDead: Neither. I'm too old to be naive and I don't lie either (I just see no purpose in it).
Of course she doesn't know any of that, that's why I PERSONALLY always suggest to stay with someone online for a while to get to know the person well (including their bad sides which you will see eventually cause naturally in a relationship you will argue and that can bring out the worst in some people)
She's 16, she's merely stepping a foot into the relationship-area, she can't and doesn't have to know all that.
You can't know all of that iRL either. You can meet someone iRL - but you don't know how they work in their social environment cause of that. You don't know how they are at work or how they possibly treat their friends (case given you only meet 1on1 all the time).
Online you're way more likely to fall in love with the personality of a person. If it's a fake personality you will find out eventually (which, again, I suggest to get to know someone properly first before meeting the first time.) and then you learned your lesson.
Everything "must" be considered, sure, but at the same time she (and you) must also consider that it may work and that denying a person over the distance may just be unfair to them. If you don't take any risks and protect yourself from failure by not even trying you will not learn and will never have any progress.

dating online/long distance has nothing to do with desperation (and if it does it will fail anyway cause then the main goal is to have SOMEONE, not to have THAT ONE PERSON, and then, who cares? Those "relationships" are not what I'm talking about). It just happens.
I didn't like online dating/LDRs myself before. My classmate got to know someone online, she even met him iRL regularly, but admittedly I had no respect for it. I found it to be crap to date someone so far away and figured that you can't know a person well and that it's a "low level" or "low quality" relationship. I was pretty [b]ignorant[/b] because I had no understanding for it.

With my Fiance, it just happened. I knew him online as a friend. First we hardly talked (since we were still strangers), then we talked more and more. In the end we talked or spent hours together online, we got to a point where we were best friends. We had argued, we solved issues, we shared everything, told each other about how life is. Eventually I just fell for how he is. The way he talks, the way he treated me, the way he treated others online. Just entirely how he is, it all amazed me. I had known how he looks long before we dated (and he was just a "normal guy" back then) and I also became attracted to his face and body.
We met up eventually of course (by that time we had known each other almost 4 years in total), he's 1:1 iRL how he is online (his way of talking/acting/his cheerfulness etc) and he must have felt the same about me, too, since soon we both admitted we feel like we've been together iRL the entire time (everything was familiar. Personality, look, voice, way we moved (gestures, facial expressions).
We met up to test how we work out iRL (I lived with him and also spent a month living at his parents' house), it all went fine. We clashed about minor things, but those things were solved easily or are nothing to worry about. With him I have found the man for my life.

Before that, though, I had other LDRs, which lasted for just a few months at best. Before I didn't know what man I [b]need[/b] either, I had no experience with what I need to have in my daily life. As kid I always thought I want someone manly, someone who's gentle but strong etcetc. Ended up liking a guy cause he was really nice to me but he was pretty much what people refer to as beta. He was sweet, he was polite, he was loving... I knew he's not what I thought I need but I figured he's nice and that's enough. It wasn't.
Ended it eventually.

She can't know what she needs, what she really WANTS or what is best for her. She will never know unless she tries. She's 16, darnit. She will still change a lot and the relationship with him most likely won't work out in the first place, ESPECIALLY if it's her first relationship.
You sound like you think people have to get everything 100% right from the start. It's not possible. She's a teenager, she doesn't know life just yet and she may have to get through several break ups (from her side and the other person's side) before she absolutely certainly knows what she seeks and needs. Don't judge their relationship like that. You also don't know how well they know each other, what they talk about and how they act with each other. She even stated herself she's not fully attached to him yet, she's being really mature about it (ESPECIALLY considering her age!) so she's pretty safe in this.
Let people learn. Nobody can walk from the moment they pop out of the womb, they have to hit the ground with their face a few times before they figure out how it works..

OP is unaware that their thread title is a hilarious oxymoron.

[quote=Nashi]@ZedsDead: o.O yeah no. Infatuation doesn't last for several years. The hormones that cause that typically die after around a year (or less) since the brain gets used to the chemicals.
People in LDRs CAN meet if they have the right conditions. I've met my partner iRL and lived with him for a bit.
Who says you can't see the looks of your partner too? Ofc you can webcam-chat with the other person and can be attracted to their looks too. Personality is most important part though and the trust is stronger cause you HAVE TO rely on your partner being loyal (otherwise it won't work. you have to trust in iRL relationships too but it's not as "tested" as it is in an LDR)
You're pretty narrow-minded. You're the one living in "[i]absolute[/i] denial" xD Guess you've never seen one of those couples who have started off in an LDR and married later on.[/quote]

You are either naive or lying. Neither would surprise me tbh. Falling for someone in a LDR is akin to falling for someone you're supposed to go on a blind date with in an hour because someone told you how awesome they were. She has NO idea how this guy [i]feels[/i] standing next to her. She has NO idea how this guys demeanor is off [i]webcam[/i]. She has NO idea how other people treat this person. She has [i]no[/i] idea who this person is! And that's exactly what infatuation is, falling in love with the idea of someone, and not the real person. [i]Everything[/i] must be considered, and she can't even see the half of it.

In all truth, Their relationship just might work out for a little bit because to stoop so low as to date long distance, you'd probably need to be pretty desperate anyway. But she needs to know that when she finds out she can tolerate the rest of him, she's only getting the man she [i]wants at the moment,[/i] and not the man she [b]needs[/b] or is [i]best for her.[/i]
And that's exactly what people who pride themselves in being accepting and tolerating get; SUBPAR. So go take your liberal wishy washy psycho babble hippy loving enlightened bull crap somewhere else

@SoulBlade: there's always google or a calculator.

@Nashi:
Of course its by weight, although it gets hard to convert kilograms to pounds sometimes.

@SoulBlade: So you make a list of reasons for/against something? And you do it AFTERWARDS? xD
I hope you consider the "weight" of a point, not the amount on each list. Cause sometimes one good reason can outweigh 3 negative aspects (or more or less )

(The Good) / (The Bad)
My equation for decision making for knowing if I made a good decision.

Oh God, I'm late

@ZedsDead: o.O yeah no. Infatuation doesn't last for several years. The hormones that cause that typically die after around a year (or less) since the brain gets used to the chemicals.
People in LDRs CAN meet if they have the right conditions. I've met my partner iRL and lived with him for a bit.
Who says you can't see the looks of your partner too? Ofc you can webcam-chat with the other person and can be attracted to their looks too. Personality is most important part though and the trust is stronger cause you HAVE TO rely on your partner being loyal (otherwise it won't work. you have to trust in iRL relationships too but it's not as "tested" as it is in an LDR)
You're pretty narrow-minded. You're the one living in "[i]absolute[/i] denial" xD Guess you've never seen one of those couples who have started off in an LDR and married later on.

@KiDxHealer: Aww I really know how that is. The people in my class had nothing better to do than do idiotic stuff. Nothing interesting. All about having sex, taking drugs (years later I found out that my classmates actually sold drugs lol..) and partying. Getting drunk was a given.
I didn't have i-net until 18 so I spent my time at home, in the garden or going for walks with my family (mostly grandma). Also loved playing PS2 and crafting staying at home was just so much comfier than being out at night having nasty idiots rub themselves against me lol
Back then until I was 16 there were people that were nice to me when they wanted something from me (e.g. a gum or help with homework) but otherwise they bullied me. I never saw them as friends in the first place and at 16 I got so sick and tired of it whenever someone would approach me to ask for something I'd say no. And suddenly some of them either shut up or this one guy suddenly offered me favors back to be fair. I was amazed how easy it is to say no, how strong it makes me feel and how small and obedient others become all of a sudden when you decide to face them. (should have done it years prior to that xD)
I'll PM you my LINE ID. Not sure what's wrong with it o.O
Didn't have any issues with it till now.
I wish I could save up money but I was never taught how to handle money xD I even recently noticed even more how unreasonably all females in my family spend their money lmao. Good thing my Fiance is really good with financials so I won't have to worry about it...
Not sure whose personality I have. Well def not my life donor's and my mom is a lil too odd but she's relaxed like me. hrm!

@ZedsDead: You seem to be way off. I never said anything about wanting to date these guys and I don't disregard them because majority of them are my friends. I've already set my standards. Growing up is a process as well and I'm in that right now. I'm not complaining about what I have because it's not a problem. I'm complaining on how people are looking down on me because of my choice to date someone OUT of country. I've told plenty no because most of the time it's about sex.
If you're implying that I NEED sex in my relationship as in it's a REQUIREMENT and it's part of some type of survival then I don't know where you're getting your relationship ideas. Sure, looks do mean something sometimes, but you don't ALWAYS have to have contact 24/7. That's like saying you gotta get a kiss every minute of the day or that just means you're breaking up. You can think it's lame, but so far there are hundreds of dating websites as well and a lot of them has succeeded. [eHarmony, Zsook, OKCupid, etc]
You seem too strict about relationships

@Laker1294: I'm definitely trying that now! Haha, ever since I got into my new course at school I've made a bunch of new female friends. I am more frightened around girls than guys because they look like they can just tear you apart. They're really cool and nice. They're really cool about my relationship too ^-^.

@Nashi: I'm WAYY too shy for anything. I mean, I'm not entirely sure about what's going on and people here freak me out a bit. It's more like they go mudding and drinking and smoking. I'm just like stay at home and be a geek and watch all the harry potter movies and talk with my boyfriend while playing ms.
I plan to point out the 'friends' that are just using me for comfort and throwing me to the side whenever they don't need me. It's making me mad how I let people walk on me and use me to their advantage. I rarely fight back because it just seems a waste of time to me until now.
I will try getting on LINE. I'm not getting your friend req :[
Luckily I have my dad's personality. My mom is the ' look good, don't touch' person and my dad is the 'spend it when necessary' guy. I'm saving up now for anything that I want and for my books and plane ticket.

@metaghost4: No no, I'm really not trolling, no matter how far-fetched it sounds. @-@... Haha but yeah we do plan to meet but after I graduate which will be when I turn 18 or maybe a little bit before. I can never lie to my parents and with the school work right now we don't have time to really hang out. I mean, it's a bit hectic, but we're good right now. ^-^

[quote=Nashi]@ZedsDead: Chill, LDRs are in no way bad if both partners maintain it well. I met my partner online and we'll marry, really nothing wrong with it. The lack of touch and everything is just TEMPORARY after all. If you work out you have years, and decades, to come to catch it all up. And by the start of the "physical" relationship you're already way ahead of real life couples emotionally/mentally (stronger bond, better trust, ..) [/quote]

No, no, no! This is [i]absolute[/i] denial. It's called [i]being[/i] with someone for a reason. [i]Looks[/i] and [b]demeanor[/b] are [b][i]vital[/i][/b] to real attraction, neither of which can be [i]accurately[/i] gauged in a LDR. If someone feels they are genuinely attracted to a person they've never met then they are desparate, hopeless, and lame. wack. I'd even go as far as to say[i]uncool[/i] even. WEIRD. The trust is [i]only[/i] there because [i]both[/i] parties can't get with anyone in their own area. [b]FACT[/b]. At the end of the day, it's all infatuation, like lusting over a new pair of nike airs!

@KiDxHealer: Aww so you're the shy type? xD Don't worry at your age that's pretty normal even. I was incredibly shy most of my teenage life. Over the past few years (basically starting in my 20s) my self-confidence has improved a lot, I'm more outgoing and stable and it's much easier to talk to people now. You'll go through a lot of (personality/treat) changes within the next few years. And finding friends later is a lil easier (at least imo) cause people aren't so busy with themselves anymore (due to puberty and finding themselves and their spot in the world). It's way less stressful the older you get.
Besides feel free to msg me on LINE whenever you have time. My phone will notify me and most likely I'll have time to spare (not so much to do right now aside from a little cleaning up/organizing). Really depends on when you're free
@ZedsDead: Chill, LDRs are in no way bad if both partners maintain it well. I met my partner online and we'll marry, really nothing wrong with it. The lack of touch and everything is just TEMPORARY after all. If you work out you have years, and decades, to come to catch it all up. And by the start of the "physical" relationship you're already way ahead of real life couples emotionally/mentally (stronger bond, better trust, ..)
@Reticent: If you're together for a long while you'll eventually end up arguing. People can't keep their "good sides" up for long and it's a safe(r) bet to keep it "Online" for long enough until you're [b]100%[/b] comfortable with the person and know their bad sides as well.
And if you pay enough attention you may notice if a person is overly nice.
Honestly though, I also think it's way better, that if you date online, you have known the person AS A FRIEND before going out. Friends don't tend to fake as much or hide as much. When you've managed to stay friends, seen your "bad" sides (friends argue, too) and were able to stick through everything together you should be good to go.
It's just all the same in RL relationships. It's easier to hide bad sides iRL imo, too. Which is why I tend to suggest that if you date in general do it with someone you know very well. If you lasted as friends through arguements you're more likely to do the same in a relationship cause you have stronger attachment and everything and you're less likely to face bad surprises (but that's just my own personal experience.)
@remembrent: Gosh darnit... where'd you read brains aren't completed until 25? @_@ means I have 3 months left to work on my brain while it's still form-able! lol!

@KiDxHealer: Well you can start by saying hi to people. Talking to yourself is normal. I talk to myself by writing in my journal and verbally especially when I feel frustrated or upset.

[quote=KiDxHealer]@ZedsDead: Well to you it is... We all have our own different views on how we find people. In my opinion it all depends on the person and if they're willing. I'm not missing out because all the guys here are always dipping and doing drugs and it's disgusting. Not to mention it's usually sex on the first date which is usually to a mudding hole. I live in a very country area.... But yeah, I don't fancy the guys here.[/quote]

I'm going to be [i]dead[/i] honest with you. All I hear is: "I'm not ready to accept who men are, nor am I willing to tell them no when I am in over my head, so I disregard them irl. I am definitely not ready for relationships at all. I have a tremendous amount of growing up to do first."

@remembrent: yeah... i'm going to drop them soon enough. I'm feeling unfair about it because I help them too much.

He cried because I was upset and what not... I'll admit I'm a needy and clingy person Embarrassing I know... but i suck at hiding my feelings

And that's really cool ^-^ I hope that can happen.

I am waiting haha. I'm not rushing it but I don't like how people are looking down at me because of my method of dating. I mean, I'm going to wait it out since I know a crap load of people online who met their boyfriends/girlfriends on here and they met up and what not and still together and I want that. It's exciting really. haha

@ZedsDead: Well to you it is... We all have our own different views on how we find people. In my opinion it all depends on the person and if they're willing. I'm not missing out because all the guys here are always dipping and doing drugs and it's disgusting. Not to mention it's usually sex on the first date which is usually to a mudding hole. I live in a very country area.... But yeah, I don't fancy the guys here.

@lilgambler: I hope you guys last a life time ^-^ You guys sound super duper cute and I want that so badly haha. What age were you when you got together?

I'm in the same exact relationship for a few years now, and met the same way. I've felt the same things you're going through and it's completely normal. It will only work out if both partners put the same amount of work into the relationship. Good luck to you both though !

Sounds like a [i]waste of time[/i] and [b]dull[/b]. No possibility of [i]intimacy[/i] or [b]touch[/b]. Online relationships are [b]lame.[/b] [b][i]Wack[/i][/b] even. You're missing [i]out[/i] and depriving yourself of a [b]normal[/b] romantic [i]experience[/i].

That's just my professional opinion though.

@KiDxHealer

wow i read through all the comments (or tried to, anyway)
and I think you pretty much came to a conclusion about the relationship between you and your boyfriend, but here's something:
[url=http://thoughtcatalog.com/kovie-biakolo/2013/03/you-cant-save-anyone/]relates to your friends, kinda[/url] - i suggest you find new friends. one of the things i regret most from high school was not dropping the group of "friends" i had earlier, for different, better friends. friends who will build you up instead of tear you down.

you said at one point in the comments your bf is constantly down on himself? and then you make negative comments about yourself to make him feel better or something? i personally don't think that's a very healthy aspect of a relationship, it sounds like he's a bit needy- especially when he was crying over you almost-breaking-up. i don't know, seems odd.

anyway here's a happy story, one of my maple friends met her bf over maple, and they've been together for a couple of years. he's moving from ohio to colorado, and they're moving in together. they're 23/24. (&i just met my friend in person 2 weeks ago ^-^)

i think the best thing you can do is really wait it out- continue the relationship and see where it heads. like everyone is saying, you are still young...with a lot of growing up/maturing to do! (brains aren't completely formed until you're 25)

@Laker1294: I'm way too awkward for even myself. I ramble on about things because I don't want to sit in awkward silence.

[quote=KiDxHealer]@Nashi: Socially awkward outcast here. Lool o.o[/quote]

I can relate. I mostly stayed at home during my teenage years while I was in high school and I considered myself to be socially awkward. You can improve on your social life by being nice to people and talking to them (starting a conversation with them even if they don't talk to you). You can talk to people about school related topics since you are in school. It's literally the easiest topic to talk about. You can also ask them about their weekend once you know them better. You can also start the conversation by saying hi (insert name here). How are you? I hope that helps. overall just be nice, but don't let people take advantage of you. Once you know them better try to see if you have common interests with them.

@Nashi: Socially awkward outcast here. Lool o.o

@KiDxHealer: Maybe your mom will understand your situation better in a few years when you prove you work out (in case you do)... she's learned that dating someone other than what she suggests can be fine too after all

O.o those people aren't friends at all... If they're people from your classes it's understandable you stick around otherwise I'd even suggest not to bother with them anymore. It's just troublesome to cut ties with people you go to school with that you see daily, it can make school life rather complicated (especially when you have to do group projects...).
It's a shame how people like that exist <w<
I hope you don't help everyone every time. I used to do that but it didn't do me well in the long run. When you don't feel up to it you gotta learn to say no too in case you don't already

O.o well suggesting to have sex... eh.. after half a year of being together it's okay I suppose but I think that for me and my Fiance it wouldn't have been as great as it was when we did it 2 years into the relationship. You're on an entirely different level with each other after a few years, there's way more comfort and security...

o.O being trapped isn't so bad when you're not the type to go out in the first place but otherwise I'd imagine it annoying... makes it hard to maintain proper friendships

@Nashi: Yeah. My family is a bit on the weird side and my mom is pretty much like my grandparents. She wants to choose our husband or wife. She was enraged when she found out my brother was dating a girl in Vietnam and refused to talk to him for a month until my dad had to bring in a monk to convince her otherwise. Now she talks to her almost every day.

My friends are just... a bit special. They've done so many wrong things that I could have dropped them easily for, but I chose to forgive them and help them. It's more like I'm the backbone that people come to for advice but when I need it they say they aren't going to put up with it and leave, coming back days later 'apologizing' for snapping and then instantly transferring to their own problems.

Sex isn't on my mind now. Some of the friends that ARE supportive are encouraging me to have sex soon since we've already 'reached' that mark of staying together. o.o Again, I don't know what's wrong, but they're my friends.

And I haven't actually been let out in a year or 2. It's just occasional family things.

The real problem is if you're mentally prepared to handle the fact you may not talk to him everyday or whatnot because of college. Also, if he is spending a lot of time talking to you everyday, then maybe you should make him focus on his education more. He sounds alright, but people who are long-distance tend to show you their "good side" and never tell you anything bad.
If you're insecure person, I don't think you should be in a long-distance relationship or even a relationship in general is a bad idea. When you're already insecure, a horrible break-up (long distance = high chance of a horrible break-up) is just going to make you a worse person, especially if people aren't supporting you.
He'll distract you from your own goals.
Even though I also have a long distance/online relationship, I always condone most people from having one. All relationships are pretty hard work.

@KiDxHealer: Aww your dad's really sweet, supporting you like that and all.... That's pretty horrible to dislike someone over something when they had no say or anything in it
What does your mom think about cutting ties though?

If your friends talk about him by themselves just tell them that they don't know them so they got no right to talk bad behind his back and that you don't wanna talk about him anymore with them and if they could please move on so you can talk about less irritating subjects.
I don't really understand why they would be like that, I've personally never really had issues with friends or family like that xD shouldn't real friends be way more accepting and understanding?

And def take your time with sex... I think it'll also be way better if you do it a while into the relationship when you're really absolutely comfy with each other and then in a comfortable environment without any pressure on you. Even if it takes a few more years it should be fine even if it can get hard at times (it'll be harder to endure the distance if you've done it imo but that's just my personal experience)
I honestly think you're way too young to have it just yet. It's gonna be way more enjoyable when you have more awareness of everything later on and you can take your time for the actual act.

Being complete opposites may keep it fresh and interesting right now but it may make it hard or impossible to live together iRL.... the biggest issue in a relationship is how it is living together (if you work out you gotta endure decades with that person! ). I think people that date IRL have the same issue when they finally move together cause they suddenly notice new things about their partner that may irritate them
And if you got nothing or hardly anything in common it can make spending time together really really hard. My Fiance and I really have a lot of things (imo) that could keep us busy but even we run out of stuff to do sometimes but then we can just lay down and snuggle xD
If you're that different you may have to figure out if you wanna risk getting closer cause if you two can't get along iRL it'd cause a lot of heartache and desperation..

Awwww you have a weird family xD I've always been treated more like an adult cause I've always been a very careful and responsible child but the diff is also that the area I live in is safe and all.
I think you're still young old enough to go out by yourself though unless your area is really dangerous... as parent I'd worry horribly...

@Nashi: Yeah... My dad was pretty mad at my grandparents for saying things like that so he's cut ties with them for the moment. We did the same thing when my brother met his Fiancee in Vietnam through a wedding video. She was a brides maid. My grandparents didn't like her because she came from a family they don't like because of what happened a long time ago. Waaaaay before she was born.

I'm dealing with it now, it's just stupid how my friends put him down and I just give them a glare and they give me a stupid look on what they did wrong.

We're definitely not in the stage of sex yet Q-Q. I'm waaaay to shy for that and waay too nervous. He doesn't mind since we both know we're going to have to get around to that once we meet. We talked out a lot of issues I'm having with him via communication and how he's living.

And we're complete opposites, the only thing we HARDLY have similar interest in is music, but even that he listens to harder rock than I do... x_x but that's what gives it it's spark because we're learning of each others lifestyle and how we go about and why it interests us.

Age has always been in the wrong for me because no matter what I've always been treated as a kid or an adult.

-10 years old me: Can I go outside to play?
Family: NO. YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO GO OUTSIDE.

-16 years old me: Can I go across the street to hang out with Sam?
Family: NO. YOU'RE TOO OLD TO BE GOING OUTSIDE.

Struggles T-T

@KiDxHealer: Thank youuu it'll still be another 7-8 months (hopefully not more) until I can finally say "yes, I do" xD eep excited.

Hypocrites are a pain x.x Is your family the kind that thinks depression isn't real too? Dealing with such people is harsh xD but it'll be fine you won't spend your entire life with them.

Don't worry your family and friends won't be able to rage over him forever, it's just on you now to make sure they have nothing to freak out about anymore. The less info the better.

If a relationship fails cause one partner "sucks at sex" that just clearly shows there's communication issues (because in a healthy relationship you can - and WILL - talk about anything and everything). If you're not satisfied or comfortable with how your partner does it you could simply sit down, put facts on the table and explain what you personally need to improve (and you can let your partner do the same.)

Out of my own experience sex is a big part of a relationship. At least I honestly wouldn't wanna be without it "melting" into your partner and being "one" on such an intimate level is just unique and can't be replaced by anything else.
Relationships can fail when the sex becomes less but yeah, when you feel something's wrong you have to talk about it IMMEDIATELY the moment you realise it so you can take care of the problem asap. Then it really should be no problem.

There's pretty much one universal tip for lovers in trouble:
Talk to each other.

I've talked to several people and the core issue was always that they one or the other way failed to communicate which caused issues that really aren't necessary.

Don't be scared of losing him. Do your best, make sure it's all MUTUAL (if we end up chatting more I can tell you an analogy I made up to make it clear for a friend before maybe it could help you understand it better somehow) and if it fails regardless then it's not supposed to be.
If he would go back to his ex it would just mean he's not worth your time and then you can actually be glad you didn't waste any more time with him (if someone isn't the right one it's best to know ASAP, right? And not suddenly after 6 or 7 years...)

My Fiance's (real life!) ex suddenly appeared after like 2 years of
relationship and told him she loves him. She never worried me but I was pissed when he told me about what she did. He cut off contact with her then cause she was well aware of him being in a relationship.
Don't be scared of hardships at all. If he really sincerely cares for you he will do the right thing.

The right person will do it right, the wrong person can't do anything right. It's as simple as that. (that doesn't mean that everything will 100% be perfect with your partner for life. Partners are still mere humans and arguing is normal - and HEALTHY! - in every relationship. It just depends on what LEVEL and to what EXTEND)

I know how you feel regarding family and your environment. I'm more of an introvert stay-at-home kid. I always found more joy in staying at home, playing games and reading/drawing/crafting. People in my class would drink, have sex (I remember this one chick whine about possibly being pregnant in 7th grade) and party all night till 5am and sit in school by 8am. Just didn't fit into that.
So I'm all the more happy to have a partner with a lot of the same interests as me xD
Right now you're still stuck in the flowing force of life, at your young age you don't have much choice but to endure it all and make the best out of it but once you're older and you become independent it'll al be so much better > w< rawr

@Nashi: Haha thank you! You're a lot of help ^-^

Congratulations on wedding!

And I know. It just makes me mad that they think so little of people they don't know when they don't even get along with each other. -__- I don't really get along with my family anyway since they're always hypocritical. Life's pretty tough for no apparent reason, but that is life... -_- And I misinterpreted how I meant by be the girl he wants. I meant I'm trying to be there for him as much as I can and be there to comfort him in his time of need. Anyway thank you a lot!^-^ Hopefully this all blows over soon.

O.T-I've also read somewhere that a lot of relationships fail due to the lack of sexual desires. It'd be pretty weird if you had sex and all of a sudden your partner said you suck at it and leaving you for someone else because of it. But other than that sex is just a bonus to people I.M.O.

I look at LDR as the greatest test of a loving couple because it reveals whether you can really handle your time away from someone or wait until the right time comes to actually meet them face to face and I'm fully aware that I will have to meet him one day and I'm very eager. ^-^ I'm not entirely attached to him but I have a huge fear of losing him to his ex because they had been together for 3 years and I don't want to be mean, but I don't want her to come back and possibly steal him away from me. I don't resent her, but she scares me in general because she might have that power.

And I'm not really allowed out of my house due to the environment we live in and I don't really mind. I usually go out with my aunt that was also in a LDR to places like Disney or Universal. The occasional buffet, mall, or road trip. I don't like to interact with these people because they're so simple minded and always doing stupid stuff like dipping, popping pills, and just ruining other peoples lives with their antics. I don't fall into that category very well.

@Laker1294: Of course accidents can happen but there are several ways to protect yourself. You can use a combination out of two or more and usually nothing should go wrong. You gotta keep in mind that not a lot people can marry right away or "soon enough". I know a couple who has dated for around 6-7 years until they were finally able to (they couldn't e.g. cause of parents and financial reasons and they're about my age) and now imagine that they just don't fit together sexually... then what? I know a couple who actually struggles because of their sex life (he likes something she isn't okay with), they've had sex and are trying to stay together but every time I talk to him they argue or have an otherwise bad mood. A relationshp can fail over something like that if the preference or the fetish of your partner is beyond what you're able to take or willing/able to give.
So what then? You've spent several years on that person, married him and suddenly you realise how "gross" or "scary" he is in bed and that there's no way that you could give him what he wants. He could claim that he's fine without it or something but when you're limited in bed it really isn't fulfilling at all and you always have this bitter sidetaste of "we may be doing it how I want it right now but I know I can't give him "that" and in the end you may even have to break up over it. Having a partner you can't fully unfold with (and I don't just mean sexually either) is very dissatisfying and stressful.
Plus, when you really do like your partner you won't be able to help your desire either way. Why would you wait until marriage? it's just a human ritual. I don't wanna have a baby myself just yet before I haven't lived with my Fiance for at least 1-2 years (married life) but we had plenty of sex and will have but I KNOW that even if something would happen (aside from the fact that he's able to support a baby financially already) he would stick to me so I'm not scared of it.
If you date once you're done or mostly proceeded with education (a few semesters into college/uni) at an age where men are more rational (20+) you should be fine and then it's just a tiny step to financial stability. I'm in no way saying have sex now - or have sex right away. I'm just saying that if the circumstances are right and you're absolutely secure with that person there is nothing wrong with seeing how you work out together in bed also.

I never said to date for sex either. I'm dating my partner cause of his personality, cause he's a very precious person to me and a very outstanding human. But naturally my physical desire came for him eventually and I think it's just good and healthy to do it as long as you're smart about it (that means: Not doing it within the first months, using reliable protection, not risking the protection to fail somehow (there are ways..), having a relatively soon outlook on financial stability etcetc).
Plus: of course you also shouldn't do it with someone unless you're absolutely certain that (s)he would help you take care of the child or that (s)he wouldn't leave you over a pregnancy. When you're patient and careful you're good to go and sex IS a great way of bonding and getting to know each other (plus NOTHING can replace the sense of security you get when your partner FULLY accepts and embraces you)
You're looking at it way too extreme. Having sex doesn't degrade a relationship to something solely physical AT ALL. And those that only do date for sex (which I disapprove of, too) aren't suitable partners for you anyway (and by all means don't let a guy talk you into it as long as you're not ready for it... but imo you also shouldn't force both of you to hold out until marriage cause in a lot of bad cases it can take several years until you even get to that point due to education/parents/other circumstances and after a while your relationship should be strong enough to last through all sorts of hardships)

Sounds [b]pointless[/b] and [i]boring[/i]. Just my professional opinion.

@Nashi: Well we have different beliefs. Personally, I don't believe in sex before marriage is a good thing unless the guy and girl can fully support themselves and the child and they are ready to have a child because accidents do happen and it's unfair for the child if the parents are unable to provide for him/her. I haven't lost my virginity yet even though I'm well over the average age (17) in the US and I'm in college. I don't plan to lose it any time soon. I agree that the urges are natural, but I don't believe it's right to date just for sex; there is more to life than just sex even though it is classified as a need (to reproduce to ensure the existence of human beings; I know there are other unnatural methods though to have a child, but before those existed sex was the only way). I guess I could say I'm more conservative than you.

Edit: I'm well aware that there are contraceptives to prevent pregnancy, but those aren't 100% effective. And the method to remove the child from the womb. I'm not going to go further into that since I could start a flame war.

@AllDayErryDay: yeah I think so xD

@Nashi: We pretty much agreed, I suppose.