So my mom wants to kick me out
Alright guys... What do i do?
I need some assistance on what someone in my position should do when their mother wants to kick them out.
I'm 18 turning 19 in 5 weeks. I have no job. Currently slacking off big time with college too which in-turn costed me to be kicked out of 3 classes. All I've been doing really is playing video games all the time. And haven't bothered looking for work or anything else really. The last time I've been to school was 3 weeks ago. Let me get in-depth about my issue...
Now... I'm not sure what I should do as of right now. Here's my situation... This is going to be a LOONG story.
Ok my parents got legally divorced recently, partially because my dad has physical health issues which apparently prevents him from working therefor he just sits at home most of the time doing nothing, well nothing except being a paranoid, controlling or manipulating father to me but that's besides the point ^-^. It's been like this for the past 2 or 3 years. He recently started to go back to school for nursing since late winter or early spring of 2015. And has been trying to work part time also at god knows where. To save up to rent a place. Since... My mom wants to kick out my entire family actually. I don't know all the details about whats been going on between my parents for the past few years but... Whatever happened with them I know now that she just wants everyone gone. And says she prefers to live alone and be alone. My dad even said she'd go as far as to call the police on us. Like wooow~.
You may start wondering what does any of this has to do with me? Well let me get to that...
Apparently over the past few years... I'd say since i was 15 maybe, my mom has been wanting to kick me & my brother out. I recall her yelling at me and my bro one time that she can't wait until I turn 18 so that I'm gone. I remember clearly that the situation with that was because she was struggling finding a school for me since i got kicked out of this previous school i was in due to... Let's just say 'failing' a LOT. I kept 'failing' to the point where the school staff got so upset with me and just wanted me gone. They simply said according to my dad; "that the school was just isn't for me."
The reasons why shes frustrated with me & maybe my brother also is because of the friction that goes on between her and my father. She's frustrated that my dad can't go to work and make money to help with the bills due to his health problems. And because of that, she's been carrying mostly everyone's weight in the family for the past 4 years roughly. And she says shes tired of it. Due to that, she's been realizing me and my brother apparent laziness & "Excessive vacationing". I mean all me & my brother been doing for the majority of our time since i was 15 was be on the computer 24/7 and lay in bed & play games all the time.
To elaborate more on what happen when I was 15 after getting kicked out of school and her finding a school for me... After i got kicked out of school i was out of school and at home mostly 24/7 for like 2 years i think. If you read any of my other threads. This explains why I never finished high-school. However, A few days before my 17th Birthday. I got enrolled into a 2 year alternative high school, that my mom discovered while she was trying to get me into a G.E.D Program. Unfortunately I only stayed enrolled for 3 months and dropped out of it since i couldn't handle the waking up at 5am or 6am and getting home at 5pm. As you know a major reason was my bipolar actually. I felt like a zombie while being at school. And that my sleeping schedules get disrupted very often, which is the reason to why I've been missing so many days of college since September. Other reason was i only was interested in going to public school again because i wanted to make friends. But i didn't feel comfortable with the other students who was there. They was all ghetto & there was only 1 or 2 other people who were 'normal'.
Ok I'm going to get to the point now. I just felt that including some background about how my life has been since i was 15 would be very relevant to the dilemma i have with my mom. And it is actually. VERY relevant. Because me being kicked out of that school when i was 15 is what added to my mother's frustration. Me not being in school for nearly 2 years since i was 15 added more to it. When she finally found a school for me when i was 17 but after enrolling into it for only 3 months & dropping out added so much to her frustration that it made her furious. And ALL of this is whats contributing to her wanting to kick me out along with my dad.
Now after months of not being in school until around September since March of 2014. I finally got enrolled into a G.E.D Program. And have been attending that & passing pretty well. The schedule for that was so convenient especially with my sleeping programs that I nearly had a perfect attendance. As far as education things were in okay standing for me. However with my mom... Around this time was when she started to 'Disappear' & neglect the family. Me and my brother & dad noticed she would leave not say anything, and would be missing for DAYS. When she comes back every now & then. She NEVER says a word about where she's been.
I'm like whatever. Me & my mom don't necessarily have a good relationship anyway. I started to despise her when i became 12 or 13. She became unnecessarily aggressive & abusive. Ever since then I just more or less see her around. I consider her or anyone in my family really at this point, well, close-family members. We're all distant & I don't really see anyone anything more then roommates really.
Anyway as I was saying... With her disappearances occurring more frequently, that caused the family to suffer somewhat. We've haven't been having money to buy food & since she's been gone. Who's gonna put food on the table? Well that's when I occasionally had to take it upon myself to buy food for my dad & brother out of my own pocket. I know my mom BETTER had to of appreciated it since, not only did i not had to. It was STILL HER responsibility to provide food for everyone. I was under 18 barely at the time so i was still ENTITLED to be provided for, according to the laws of America. That pissed me off. I had some bitter feelings towards my mother because of this. My dad did pay me back every penny and then some of what i spent on food for everyone. So it's cool.
Umm... Okay so... This is getting too long, really want to end this thread.
So after December of 2014. To like spring of 2015. I've gone back into my bad habit of just laying around at home in bed 24/7. My depression was starting to kick me in the ass leaving me face first on the floor. I missed the January-April term of my G.E.D classes. And... I have no idea what my mom was doing. That part of my life which was literally earlier this year feels like a void to me.
But finally to get to where we are now. I finally got my G.E.D in June of 2015. I could of gotten it much much sooner but... I don't have a clue what was holding me back. I know money was an issue. My mom was the one who had to pay a total of like... $140 for me to take the test. After which... I finally started college this September & we're now at the end of the fall term.
Since i started college... I've been falling recently dramatically. I missed a total of 2 months+ of class. And that caused me to be kicked out of 3/4 of them all. Only god knows why I'm still in this computer class. Honestly.
[b]The point, which is also a TLDR[/b]
I'm not sure if my mother is aware of all of this on what's been going on with my college. But i do know that at this point... She says shes sick of having to pull everyone's weight & paying ALL the bills. And she would rather simply live alone. Therefor, she divorced my dad & kicking him out along with wanting to kick me & my sibling out. I'm not sure if everything i included above is a major reason why or if it's strictly just my dad. I remember multiple situations where she yelled at me though. She called me lazy, never doing anything, etc. And saying that all me, my dad and brother do is just lay around like we're on vacation while she does all the work. to make matters worse... the house is usually a pig-play-pin. We had a bad mouse infestation several months ago. And the garbage piles up quite often. Dishes most of the time are never washed, etc.
She wants all of us to be gone as soon as possible. Earlier today when she saw 6+ big piles of garbage not taken out. She immediately told me to tell my dad when is he moving. So me & my brother could go with him and leave my mother alone. And went on & on about her paying ALL of the bills and there being no money for herself or anything she wanna do.
UPDATE:
However while in the process of typing this thread; I FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. BOUGHT HER DINNER. This is literally the first time in any way shape or form that i spent my OWN money buying her food. I've even thrown in some reese's chocolate peanut butter cups. I SWEAR TO GOD. She better appreciate this. I figured i should buy her food since i have extra money that i don't need to spend. And she said shes broke due to paying all the bills and she couldn't even afford to buy herself food. Should mention that we don't have any food at home so yeah. And she NEVER cooks. She only cooked for the family twice within the past 12+ YEARS. Not kidding nor exaggerating. You guys might not find this that big of a deal. But me buying things for my mother expecting nothing in return would be equivalent to Jesus second coming or if you're not religious, think of the movie 2012 instead. If you lived in my household, you'd understand.
She did say thanks so... For the dinner & for the candy. So that's cool. I guess.
Whew... it took me over 3 hours to type this thread. I had to type go out & do what i do on Saturdays and come back to type some more. I started this thread at 2pm. And it's now 6:35pm. I missed the hot-time!
31 Comments • Newest first
@shini you need to accept responsibility. one would think that you'd turn out to be a more responsible person given your background. you could have done better, not just for your mother, but for yourself. if your brother doesn't do his part and you are aware of it, do it yourself instead. do it for you. be better than your brother. you could have cooked for your mother instead of lounging around, waiting for her to come home after 8+ hours of work. without her, you wouldn't even be able to play maplestory or whatever you're capable of doing now cause she's the one paying for your internet/electricity/housing/insurance/utility bills. honestly, $20/hr is tight for a family of four. the mental, emotional, and physical toll on her must be insane. you can't even help her out a little without expecting to be rewarded for something as basic as buying food. if you can't even take care of yourself or your mother, how can you begin to think about dating and providing for a single mother and her child? man, you should try to do what your mother has done. be the sole provider of a family of four. it's incredibly tiring.
you keep blaming your mother, mental health, upbringing, and whatever else on your problems. yes, they've definitely affected you, but trying to justify your mindset isn't going to change anything. you can still do better, you can be better. learn to take care of yourself in every way that you can. be independent. learn to give without expecting any compensation. it's fine if school isn't for you, but you need to get to work. if your mental health is debilitating, seek help and treatment. don't be complacent with your current self cause you're a self-entitled potato right now. i know doing things, like actively doing things, can be difficult with depression, but once you start, keep going. that first step can be daunting, but you need to accept the gravity of your situation. no one else is going to take care of you. find a job, live on your own, mature. you are more than your past and your illnesses. you can be a better person if you choose to be. i wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.
@voidwreck look at the whole picture.
@haunt: Who's the creator of this thread? You? If the OP says that what I said is true, then who in the blue hell are you to tell me if I'm wrong regarding his life? If I was wrong, he would have told me. Man you have too much free time on your hands.
@voidwreck but you are wrong. you can't even read a short post lmao.
@haunt: That must prove how much of a moron you are then. You took the time out of your day to read that entire wall of text, meanwhile I only had to skim through it to understand the main point. The only idiot here is you. Go back to sleep, kid. And don't call people out unless you're sure that they're wrong. In this case, you made yourself look like an absolute fool so congrats!
@voidwreck I actually read the entire post unlike you. Sigh I can't deal with idiots this early.
@haunt: Welp, there we go. OP just agreed with what I said. So before calling me out, maybe you should have read the thread first you moronic imbecile.
Something my friend said to me to put things in perspective: "we're all spoiled because we have the ability and opportunity to get an education". "we're all spoiled because we can go to college".
You take the cake because not only are we all spoiled, but you just ask more from your mom.
I also would like to say that you think your dad could have helped your mom, but you could have also done the same. I have known some people in high school who took part time jobs flipping burgers just to help out their families. Don't think I knew anyone who dropped out of hs for it, but pretty sure there probably are some. Such is life.
You state you wanted to live a simple life. Then go out and do it. Quit school. Get any entry level job. And plead to your mom not to get kicked out if you help pay for rent. Once your dad is gone, you'll feel less manipulated and controlled. Plus you'll probably have some money saved up for whatever you want to do even if it's very little. Hopefully with whatever money you have left you can get meds for your crap and work on yourself as a person. Honestly, if you go to a shelter, there's very little hope you can turn your life around. Since it seems like your mom will sever all connection. It doesn't seem like you want your dad. and it also doesn't seem like you have many connections with friends with whom you can stay with.
You talk of a normal teenage life, but honestly no one has a normal teenage life because that is pretty subjective. That's a lie and that is life. This is reality. You perpetuate this ideal so you can feel victimized.
My friend's bro and their family grew up in the ghetto, but they went to a rich, white public school because they would have gotten killed at the ghetto, closer public school. So the bro ended up being really entitled because he felt like the "normal teenage life" was getting cars after graduating high school from the parents (because that's what all them rich white kids got). He actually kept demanding a car from his own dad and his dad work his butt off to escape communism to live in America. And this bro know he live in the ghetto. The money they saved up is for emergencies and loan-free ness for college and grad school.
Goodlucky in your endeavors. I hope you think about how your choices can affect your future opportunities in life. Because right now, you are going in a downward spiral.
btw. by crap job, I simply meant that your mama seems overworked by her job(S). o-o" Of course I didn't know what kind of job she had to be calling it a low-paying job. LOL.
@caracal:
Uhm. My mother doesn't do house chores generally. She leaves that to me, my bro, and dad. And we usually pull through. I mean... Though it was my turn to wash the dishes today and I STILL haven't done it yet. I've been playing MapleStory for 7+ hours straight. And watching the new Episode of Dragon Ball Super. ^-^
I've always been thinking on how life worked when it came to bringing people into the world regardless if it was intentional or not. And then eventually when that person is in the world, they're expected to be this or that.
I am appreciative sometimes. It's just at this point, it never comes to mind to realized what she has done for me.
@tashie:
Uhmm me moving in with my dad is a hell to the no no. Would NOT be a good idea for my mental health. I think I'd rather live in a shelter then to be with him. Actually... There's this shelter i found out about from the community or social service center at my college. It services people between the ages of 14-24. Probably should look into it. Gotta see if i still have the business card.
My mom didn't pay for me to go to school actually. I've been receiving financial aid to go to college. If you were referring to that alternative high-school program i mentioned to where i had to get up at 6am. Then yeah i think she did had to pay a fee for me to be enrolled. I know the uniforms costed an additional $20+
Also concerning having to wake up at 6am. It was unbearable due to my bipolar & lack of sleep i get. I've been having sleeping issues for YEARS & they're still on-going RIGHT NOW. It's 3:13am as I've been typing this reply. And just earlier today i woke up at 3:40pm after going to sleep at 8am. My sleeping times have been flipping all over the place over the course of a couple YEARS.
When I wake up to early after having a lack of sleep. I get extreme headaches which last all day on-top of blurred vision, and simply feeling like a zombie. When I feel like a zombie; It feels like there be pressure or weight on my brain. Doesn't help that my depression & agitation mix while all that happens and... Ohhh boy. x_x
The only times where I could be up at 6am consistently is when I'd have to stay up like how I am now.
As for your statement about me not caring about education... THAT'S TRUE. LMAO. I'm not even 0.00001% offended.
School is NOT for me nor is it something I have a interest in or enjoy doing. I've felt this way for YEARS. I'm not even interested in master degrees & scholarships, etc. I don't even care about being wealthy or having lots of lots of money. I just want to live a simple life to be honest. I don't value luxury or material gains. i mean, knowledge itself is valuable & something I believe is important. However I personally could careless about anything more then that. I mean if I HAVE to work... in which i know i do eventually. I'd be happy with a job that pays just enough for me to take care of myself or MAYBE, a family. Nothing more, nothing less.
Furthermore, I NEVER run to my mother when there's a mess to be cleaned or something that needs to be taken care of in the household. She always would come complaining to me & my brother, and dad about things concerning that. Just earlier today, it wasn't my turn to take out the trash actually. We have a arrangement where me & my brother take turns doing the chores around the house. So there were 6+ bags of garbage piled up & my mom walked into the kitchen and saw them and came being upset at me & my brother. My brother was responsible for taking it out & had to explain to her why he couldn't. Apparently that was the last straw & what she proceeds to say after which is what caused me to have to create this thread. This has been an on-going thing for the past 2-3 years I think.
However I am going to be honest, it is true that when there be a mess that I caused. I usually just leave it there. And I received LOTS of complaints from both my parents due to this. It's just sometimes, i don't feel like cleaning it up.
I remember my dad calling me sloppy. And a few other things. I did feel some kind of way, but i brushed it off after awhile.
@voidwreck:
Pretty much lol. According to my dad, he said there is more to it. He says my mom actually have issues she's going through. And what i get from it is, when she sees how unkept the house is. With me & my brother being home all day doing nothing productive. She takes it out on us.
I really do think my mom just feels VERY unappreciated. And she have bitter feelings growing in her towards everyone in the family.
For the 5am excuse see somewhere in the response I sent to @tashie.
@windowlegs:
Read the very last paragraph in this 'Willis tower' long reply post.
@lukiie:
I gave her a Reese's. Reese's are better. lol
Yeah when she comes home, she sometimes be upset & wanting to isolate herself in her room. When I hear her saying stuff like she can't wait until we're all gone. I do feel kinda bad. I know one time when I asked her to drive me to the train station so i could load money on my bus-pass. She was very upset & frustrated. She said she can't wait until me & my brother grow up & be on our own so she could simply worry about herself. I didn't know what I could of done that time to ease the situation. I mean, she's literally the only person who has a car. I had no way of doing what I needed to be done on my own. The train station from my house is 5+ miles away. To far to walk.
Not sure on what you mean really by growing some spheres & being the man of the family. Like I don't have a job. And before i got my financial aid refund check. I literally had nothing to my name. In the beginning of the college term, I have been trying to get a job. But I kinda recently slacked off doing that too & just haven't been bothering.
@hyperfire7:
Not sure on how I should reply to this... Hmm. I explained the tone in the last paragraph of this. But yeah.
For me having a problem waking up at 5-6am. I explained that to my reply for Tashie.
@ceseva:
18 years of hell? Weelll excuuuse me~
Things didn't start to go bad with my family until we lost our house due to my dad not being able to work.
My mom didn't start being the way she is now until around me being 14 or 15 years old. I have no idea what started it all to be honest but i know as of now everything i mentioned so far is the current issue at hand.
I should mention me specifically isn't the reason to why shes is the way she is. Everything I mentioned in this entire thread is just a fragment of what seems to be a bigger issue. My dad confirmed this. Her having bitter feelings with me & my brother & dad is a fragment to what's really wrong. Sure all of what i said drove her to want to do it but.
Honestly, you guys making it seem like I'm a terrible son to her. If it comes to mind, I'd do what i can for her. Though it barely comes to mind. I be so caught up in my own life and my own mental issues to be concerned about my mother.
Btw, my mother doesn't have a crap job. She works at a hospital making nearly or over $20/hr I think. Ontop of having a part-time job she does on her own time at her own convenience at home.
@killeem:
Sigh yeah well...
My situation is me having a dad in my life, but he's not a very good one when it comes to raising teenage boys.
Fortunately i was actually able to see the faults in my dad & that showed me what not to do & what not to be like. There are things he do that even I wouldn't do if i was in his position. I wouldn't be the way he is to my mom, such as not taking responsibility & having the wife do all the work. Even though he does have physical health problems. I do feel there are things he COULD be doing, but chooses not to.
To be honest, I'd rather not have a dad then to have a dad that couldn't pass down good things.
I know when i was hanging out with my big brother, he went off when we discussed my dad. He agrees that he's manipulative. Haha.
Also Something else just came to mind as i was reading all of you guys replys.
One major reason I may seem like an entitled spoiled brat to my mother growing up was because of how life has been for me as a teen.
I've had a very miserable/depressing life since from the time I was 13 or 14 & onward. I've felt like life was like a prison. My parents... Well dad specifically was controlling or manipulative of how i lived my life. There were MANY things I couldn't really do as a teenager. I mean normal teenager things like going out to the movies, hanging with friends, going to prom. Etc. I never really had a life a teenager was suppose to have. Thus, I felt like so far what my parents have done for me doesn't compare to the life I had to have between the ages of 14-17. I feel that I had to give my freedom in exchange for their financial assistance & them supporting me. I guess this really doesn't concern my mom much since she wasn't present much in the upbringing of me as a teen. All of the issues i have concerning that revolves around my dad strictly pretty much. My mom even said that my dad did things that even she disagrees with so... huh. Me typing this out to you guys may seem like an insignificant issue.
There is waaay more to it then what I'm saying but... I really don't want to get into that. My life is finally moving away from that & i don't want to trigger a PTSD moment. I mean, even though I'm in the situation I'm in now with my mom. I am a bit happier compared to how things use to be.
I should also mention that... the tone of me writing this thread was me trolling a tiny bit. I did intentionally wrote it in a way I may seem like a bad person. I did this because i had to keep myself entertained while i wrote something this long. I would of lost more motivation to even make a thread this long if i wrote it how i should of.
Regardless of the tone, the contents & situation i expressed in this thread are real. My mom really does want to kick me out partially due to the reasons I stated. I have until February I think. Since that's when my dad said he plans to move.
It took me nearly 3 hours straight to develop this reply to you all. Hopefully it's organized to where you'd see what i wanted to say to you specifically.
@voidwreck: His mom provided him enough opportunities to get himself together, but he blew all of them. The only logical choice thereafter is to just kick him out. It's completely legal and if I was his mother, I would do the same.
I wouldn't want a lazy bum without a shred of motivation like OP to continue leeching off me.
@haunt: I skimmed through it, and I'm pretty sure I understood what he was saying. Wbu?
@voidwreck I'm sorry, but did you read anything he wrote?
@shini: Don't ever use the excuse of not having a dad and not being able to become a man. I never had a dad growing up and that's the best thing I could've asked for. Now I know what exactly NOT to be. Grow up alone, raise yourself, pave your own way and show out that you can be a mf man without being taught. YES your mom should love you regardless of anything, but that does NOT give you the right to be wrong to her. You still have your part, doesn't matter. It isn't fair that you didn't get that picture perfect family life you've been watching everywhere, trust me I thought the same thing, but f*** it you can't get everything.
Your mom has her own life, too. Even if she has kids she still wants to be able to do the things she's wanted to do. Think about it, she DID HER PART! She got you BOTH to 18, her job is over.. Let her live her life, too. Who wants to die working their ass off so 3 people can live off and just be leeches? Nobody, don't blame her for being human.
@supmanlol: That doesn't mean his mom should kick him out... Instead, why not try and help him do better? Why not try and motivate him? Maybe something is lacking in his life, so why not support him as best as possible rather than "Ok you're not doing good in school so I'm gonna kick you out". Where is he gonna go? To a homeless shelter? Doing bad in school isn't an excuse to kick him out either. Also, kicking him out won't really solve anything. But the OP did give some very lame excuses such as he doesn't want to wake up at 5am to go to school. In most cases, you will have to wake up that early. OP won't know the value of an education until it actually pays off for him in the long run.
I feel like this is a joke thread. O_O"
If you were asian, you would be called lazy, stupid, and ugly even if you were doing well in school. You would be abused right when you come out of the womb. :x
LOL. You bought your mom dinner and you're complaining that she might not have said thanks. Dude...I would blame your parents for your poor upbringing, but your mama so swamped that it's hard to blame her.
You know your mama swamped and you don't even try to get a job to help her? >.> Did you never feel bad for her? When my dad beat my mom, I felt hella bad. I literally sat and watched her cry. Didn't move from my spot. I wanted to be there for her, even if I couldn't do anything to help with the situation.
Your mom has more of the right to kill herself and be depressed than you do. :C
What a poor mama.
Honestly, my mom is suicidal right now. So this is very sad to hear how ungrateful you are. ESPECIALLY since your mom is amazing af. my mom is crap compared to yours.
I know there's huge cultural differences between you and me, but this is outright a tragedy for your mama no matter what and you are a part of that tragedy she has lived.
She has nothing to feel proud for. Not her crap job. Not her children. Not her husband. Nothing at all.
Honestly. If you ever loved your mama at all, you should leave her and let her focus on herself. That's what she needs right now. She literally CHOSE to go through 18 years of hell raising you. Now she's free.
Reading the title, I thought it was going to be about a deadbeat mom or dad or something. But once I saw that it was your thread, I'm not surprised that your mom's the MVP and you're the deadbeat son. You're the same guy who made a thread about wanting to date a young single mom. I remember face-palming so hard at your immaturity, and looks like I was right given how you're implicitly blaming your mom and your surroundings despite being heavily responsible for putting yourself in your current crappy situation.
But you know what pissed me off the most about this post? The tone in which you wrote it. Never have I met a person who sounded so self-entitled that if you are next to me I want to slap some sense into you. You couldn't go to school because you had to "get up at 5-6am in the morning". REALLY? Wow, YOU HAVE IT SO HARD.
Succeeding in life is mainly about how much effort you put in to better yourself. Your mom provided you enough opportunities to make you to be able to stand on your own feet financially, and you blew all of it. She has every right to kick you out.
"Please keep your mean comments to a minimal, I'm a gentle guy with feelings"? No one gives a ** about that in the real world, much less the internet. If your feelings need to get trampled all over for you to start being productive, then so be it. You're at fault for being a deadbeat person, get your ** together and make something of yourself. She has every right to kick out your lazy ass; all you're doing right now is just leeching off her income.
Now that I got my rant out of the way, I do have some advice for you:
1) Get the hell out of school. You don't yet know the value of an education, so get out and just get a job first.You need to get out in the real world and try to make a living on your own. You need to experience how hard it is to make a living. Only then will your delusional mind resulting from your hyper self-entitlement be erased.
2) Reddit is an excellent source of connections and knowledge of what a young, soon-to-be homeless person like you should be doing. Make a post stating your situation (though I advise you to leave out your ****ing self-entitlement to prevent being bashed like you were here), and hopefully some charitable redditors will provide you with tips and maybe a job.
Though how well you utilize the reddit and their advices are up to you.
Now get your ass off Basil and make yourself productive. You're the last person who should be on this site.
@voidwreck: no one has an excuse for doing bad in school
if you actually tried, anyone could get at least a 60% (excluding math and science courses)
if you get below a 60%, that just means you didnt try
education is so important and yet people dont feel the need to put effort?
was 2 long, had to read the TL;DR
I see your mom moreso the victim here - it sounds like she's done all she could in her situation. Nothing is being reciprocated in your relationships, she gives and gives while the rest of the family expects to just take and take. I would give the woman a break. I would give her a kit kat.
but anywhos, even for the food thing you mentioned - you think that a 'thank you' is kinda good, but really, you shouldn't be expecting back anyways. Who's the one who took care of you all your life? Like you wouldn't even have that saved money if it weren't for her. While she slaves away with her job and all the other responsibilities in the house I wouldn't expect anything less than her reaction.
I mean this in a kind tone, but maybe grow some b@ll$ and take responsibility. Be the man of the family - do better than your dad - act like you are something your mom could be proud of, rather than a burden to her health.
is this a troll thread!? the way you sort of glide over the fact your mother pays for everything and you emphasize how you spending a little bit of money every now and then... makes it seem like a roll bread
Wait, so she wants to kick you out just because you did poorly in school? And because she has issues with your dad? That's messed up dude.
To be honest I can actually see where your mom is coming from and having to deal with the stress of a husband who is supposed to help with the bills and two kids who really don't care to even help out KNOWING your parents are having a rough time I DO NOT BLAME HER
1. you and your sibling and father can move in with each other but this being said you literally have to get of your butt and actually help and contribute with the living costs this means GETTING A JOB and being out of the house
"She called me lazy, never doing anything, etc. And saying that all me, my dad and brother do is just lay around like we're on vacation while she does all the work. to make matters worse"
Well can you blame her for that? Because what shes saying is nothing but the truth? She went out of her way to pay for school or you and if you think you couldn't handle it then by all means tell her to save her money rather than waste it. Because clearly as I see it and I'm not trying to be rude but you literally could care less about going to class. If waking up at 6am is too much for you to go out there and get an education then I really have nothing more to say because other people have it so much worse and they'd love the chance to get an education whereas you take it for advantage. Also, I'm seriously having a hard time knowing you let the garbage pile up inside your house...your mom shouldn't have to tell you to take the garbage out of the house...it's literal common sense if you see a mess clean it up don't just retreat to your room and do nothing about it....you expect your mother to do everything for you? Honestly you need to grow up and take your life into your own hands...time is ticking and tbh if you do nothing about it you're going to end up somewhere a lot worse than you are now
your mother's the true mvp. she's busting her ass at work and you expect her to wipe all of your grown asses when she comes home. household duties are the responsibility of the entire family. you have no idea how much pressure she's been under, having to provide for a four-household family on a single income, in addition to washing, cleaning, and whatever else you're supposed to help out with as a member of the household. she's done what she can without help, and she doesn't feel appreciated. yeah, you've paid for a few meals, but she's been paying for the four of you for years. she doesn't owe you any more than what she's given, and she's given a lot without you realizing or reciprocating. she's tired. give her a break.
you're your own responsibility now.
waste yute, i hate ppl who dont care about their education
srsly, burden to soceity
@ilikeanime: I understand & you're right.
As i grow up in my teens. At first i use to resent my mother and favored my father. However I did realized my mom was way better of a mother to me then my father was of being a father-figure.
HOWEVER... I use to believe that, she was the one who brought me into this world. Especially with me suffering mental health issues. So I figured she did 'owe' me to some degree, since i didn't ask to be born. Especially for me having to suffer an undesirable existence. Not sure how this process works. So, I'll leave it at that. Probably wrong, Probably right but that's besides the point.
When the circumstances to call for it. I do feel some type of way. like a tiny bit of guilt or shame. However it usually brushes off after awhile since... Didn't she ask for this? I mean when i look at her she makes it seem like these responsibilities aren't a big deal therefor I'd act the same.
@sirkibblex2: The thing is... And I probably should of mentioned this in my original post, but. I actually was looking for a job since i was 16. But gave up since i did apply to over 30+ places. Only 1 person called back. There were SOO many jobs i wasn't eligible for due to a lack of education & experience. Didn't help that I was 16 year old male too.
I have worked before. In 2014 I had a summer job which made me $600 roughly. And with that i did buy food for the family a few times. However my mom was no where to be seen since this was the time period where she 'disappeared' a lot. I guess this is irrelevant since this thread is about my mother & that situation don't necessarily involve her.
As of September of this year. I did have MANY job opportunities. However, i was planning to work at my college. But I'm no longer eligible for that due to me being kicked out of those classes. So... I'm going to have to look around for any available opportunities that I know I'm capable of doing. I turn down many jobs that be in my face because i don't feel like i have what it takes to do it well. Or that I personally feel I'm not qualified enough.
I tried to get this library job that paid $15/hour but they want someone with customer service experience & i don't have any of that.
@killeem
That comment is better. Anyway... I mean. The thing is, I figured since she IS my mother. She should love me unconditionally regardless of what type of person I am or what I do. Me being the way i am. Or whatever should be irrelevant to her.
Like I said I do aknowledge my mom being a good mom. She did try to help me be a better person compared to my dad. I have more reason to despises my dad then mom but... I'm not going to get into that.
She makes a siginficant amount of money to where we even have $80/month internet. It baffles me that buying food would even be considered an issue. Or her doing anything to support us all.
Other thing is; I think it's far to late to patch things up with my mom to where things would go back to where they use to be. She's the one who wanted to act differently when me & my brother became teens.(13 to be exact) She use to yell at us for no good reasons and would be physically rough & would hit us for NO REASON at all. Ever since then was when things between me & her drifted away. At this point I'm kinda distant with my entire family.
She's just a woman i see around the house whom supports me. That may sound horrible. But it's the situation at hand.
I think she's taking the issues she has with my dad out on me & my brother. He's the biggest culprit here. He's 46 years old and is in a lower position than me. He haven't had a real reliable, steady job in years. Along with doing other things. Regardless of how I may sound or be now. I'd never do the things or be the way he is with my mom, then how i would be with my own wife.
Also I never believed I've been totally at fault here... It was my dad's job to raise me to be a strong, self-efficient, responsible young man. And he didn't do that. This issue was brought up & my dad told me, "I was suppose to learn these things, ON MY OWN" Like since the time i was 14. Basically they should of came inherently or naturally he's saying. This was other reason why my mom was upset at him more.
I guess since I'm 18 now she's directing those feelings at me since I should be resposnbile for myself now & should know better. Which is true technically but unfair at the same time.
ok i had to switch up my comment.
I want to help you. Trust.
Feeding 3 people and then feeding yourself alone is hard as f*. Then having to pay for all the bills, even harder. You need to understand where your mom is coming from. I had mine push me into moving out, I moved out, struggled hard as f* and eventually moved back in with my mom. It's hard as f*** to PROVIDE for yourself. I was busting my ass 50 hours a week to live alone, and even then I was still struggling. Now that I look back at it, I feel like a dumb ass, because who's got me till the end? My mf mom. Idk your situation with your mom, but even with a tainted relationship I believe there's always a way to fix things. I used to not believe that until a couple days ago when no one would believe me but my mom, it took me 18 years to finally realize the only 'real ass friend' I'ma ever have is my mom. Do her right, LOVE her, get a mf job and help her provide my dude. When your mom passes you ain't gonna have a friend anymore, guarantee that.
@fun2killu: You're right. What I have been doing is looking for a apartment to rent. Apart of me was looking forward to moving out since i don't have to live by house-rules AND can live with whomever I want.
I also made of list of monthly bills I'd have to pay on minimum wage which is $10. Not sure if that's enough. So far it doesn't seem THAT bad.
My mother makes nearly $20 an hour or more + she has a second job working on computers. I mean with that kind of money I don't comprehend how she could pay for the things she does or rather why is it an issue with her doing the things she does, such as paying for everything. Our internet bill alone is $80+ a month. Yet when I talked to her about it, she made it seem like it was NOTHING. At the back of my mind i did feel some kind of way. But I mean...
I guess I personally don't know the struggles of being independent & paying bills since... Obviously I've been carrying very very little responsibility my entire life.
Not kidding, I got irritated by reading this.
No hard feelings mate but (judging by this thread and some other threads you've posted) you're a hopeless slump while your mom is working her ass off and probably drowning in responsibilities. You don't have a job and ain't taking action into finding one. You slack at school because you're lazy and want to play video games all day long. Your mom barely have money and you're planning in buying some DS games. Would I be your mom I would seriously kick you out of house if you don't take action.
And you really think that your mom should appreciate the dinner you've bought for her? The past couple of years your mom has been giving her all to support you and your family. Maybe you should appreciate everything she has been doing while you play games 24/7.
You will appreciate her more when you learn to own up to your responsibilities. Trust me , i've been in your place.
You're mother is giving you exactly what you need, a new perspective on life. Responsibilities, paying for stuff with your hard earned money, ect ect...
Trust and believe you will become a better person after you move out.
@killeem: lol. Probably would deserve it
@fun2killu: Err... I probably deserved this comment but that was kinda mean.
I do think my mother is a great mother. She's a way better parent compared to my dad.
I do appreciate what she does for me. She did take my education more seriously compared to my dad.
She's the reason to why I got a G.E.D. My dad is the reason to why i couldn't finish 4 year highschool. But I'm not going to explain that.
I may seem spoiled & probably is. But I am the type of guy who would accept consequences & take responsibility for when i do wrong. I probably need a good slap to wake up and realized what she does for me. I would much rather live with my mom then my dad. I mean... I find it odd that my mom did say I'm welcomed to live with her until i graduate school. But now she's saying the stuff shes saying. Huh.
For anyone else who's going to comment... I probably deserve ridicule and hate according to what I put in my thread. BUT please keep your mean comments to a minimal. I am a sensitive, gentle guy WITH feelings.
maybe she should kick your loser ass out of the house
do better