Ever Have a Fall-Out With a Close Friend?
Hey Basil, I just came back from vacation which would have been great had there not been an incident with a close friend of mine. While I definitely played a role, I never pressured my friend into doing what caused all the commotion and it was still his choice. Wherever the blame goes, it ended up really shocking and hurting the people his lives with, especially his girlfriend of 2 and a half years and his trust with his parents. He isn't angry at me but the way things are, it's just best if we don't talk so assuage the fears of his girlfriend and family.
All in all, this is a person I talked to on a near-daily basis and I would consider a very close friend of mine and it's just so weird to realize that our friendship has come to an end so abruptly. It's also really depressing to think that something I help set in motion put such a dent in his life. Tbh, what we did wasn't close to being serious but it doesn't matter what I think of it but what his friends and family think does.
Anyway, just writing this thread to get that out of my chest. Not sure what I'm looking for. Maybe stories of falling out with your close friends and how you dealt with them, esp. if you played a big role in it.
15 Comments • Newest first
hahaha wow his girlfriend is a fa g
[quote=xoqtprincessxo]@WontPostMuch Nah dude, let your buddy decide how to handle this. Extend a hand, and he can decide if he wants to take it or not. Either way, you know you've left no loose ends hanging around. It's a okay to be selfish in this case I think.[/quote]
I have left him to deal with the results. I figure that's the least harmful course of action since A. he lives relatively far away from where I am anyway and B. it's probably for the best if they think I'm out of his life for good. It may fix itself down the line but it's just a bit weird to find myself in this situation. I may do tons of dumb stuff but this is the first time I got to really see something like this. I'm a really nice, open person so knowing other people view you as destructive to others is also kinda hurtful.
Anyway, thanks for the words. It was more that I had to get it off my chest than anything else.
@DrHye:
I'm sure my friend owned up to it and all. It's less that I am looking to fix anything up with him as I know that he doesn't blame me for it and I'll never have any reason to see his friends and family anyway, it's more about just getting over the shock of an abrupt end to a friendship.
@WontPostMuch: Yeah I kinda get where they're coming from, but they also need to realize that he made the choice himself. Of course it can't be you that tells them that (which I'm sure you know), so it's quite a pickle. They'll just remain mad at you unless your friend owns up to it, and even then, the family might still be stubborn and think he's just defending his friend.
@WontPostMuch Nah dude, let your buddy decide how to handle this. Extend a hand, and he can decide if he wants to take it or not. Either way, you know you've left no loose ends hanging around. It's a okay to be selfish in this case I think.
So basicallllyy.......... he smoked a joint. Lol ppl gotta chillllllllllllll
[quote=DrHye]Why is he blaming you? Did you seriously pressure him into it or was he free to pass it up?[/quote]
He isn't blaming me, but his GF and family are. I mean, I was just some random person that they didn't know that came to visit for two days, so when something like this happens, and which was so out of character for him, of course I'll be the main culprit in their minds. So much so they view me as a really, really negative influence to him to the point that they don't ever want me to contact him again. I mean, I get the thought process. It's not really rational but hey, I did also play a part.
@noobcake:
No, he was just feeling a bit uncomfortable from the trip so he decided we head back to his place. While we were deciding whether to call it a night or still go out to the forest as planned, his gf dropped by (she lives nextdoor) found out he was tripping, and she freaked out. Called his parents and everything.
Why is he blaming you? Did you seriously pressure him into it or was he free to pass it up?
[quote=xoqtprincessxo]@WontPostMuch lol there are these kinds of things too I guess. I don't think you have to cut off contact tho. Why don't you reach out to the guy after you let this thing blow over for a while?[/quote]
You weren't there man! I know it'd only cause more trouble if his gf ever found out I talked to him again. Maybe if they break-up but I know him very well and he cares for this girl a lot so I wouldn't wish for it. I don't know, maybe we will talk at some other point, but for now I am still in a state of shock. I've come close to ruining my own life before but never someone else's like that.
@WontPostMuch: So did he end up telling people he was going to do drugs or something? I went to a Catholic school my whole life until university and people still did drugs. In fact it was the complete opposite you'd expect from a Catholic school. If he didn't actually do the drug then I don't get what the problem is...
Just let time fix itself and you guys will be best buddies again.
That's rough 'steban.
Hope you pull through
@WontPostMuch lol there are these kinds of things too I guess. I don't think you have to cut off contact tho. Why don't you reach out to the guy after you let this thing blow over for a while?
[quote=NoobCake]Basically he ruined his friend's life and he knows it.
OT: What did you do OP, spill the beans.[/quote]
lol nothing major. I had mentioned tripping on this (legal) drug and suggested we do it as a joke and he agreed. Apparently he'd made a promise to his gf to never take any drugs at all and I never really realized how conservative his friend group was. In retrospect it should've been obvious since he goes to a Christian college but I've never seen people act that way.
It was also my first time meeting him in person. We've been online friends for five years and we have mutual friends from irl but yeah...It was really stupid.
[quote=mitarumetaro]didn't read a single word of your thread; just read the title.
In a period of 3 weeks (a few years ago) I alienated everyone I thought of as a friend... so yes[/quote]
Basically he ruined his friend's life and he knows it.
OT: What did you do OP, spill the beans.
i guess so, but it was for the best.
didn't read a single word of your thread; just read the title.
In a period of 3 weeks (a few years ago) I alienated everyone I thought of as a friend... so yes