How do I remove ass smell from chair?
So when I sniffed my seat today, it straight up smelled like ass. Don't get me wrong, I am a hygienic person (I shower everyday) and occasionally like to let one rip if I'm alone, but it's like my computer chair absorbs the smell and refuses to let it evaporate into the air or something.
Is this normal? Do all chairs smell like ass? What could I do to get this embarrassing smell out?
It's embarrassing because I occasionally have friends who come to visit, and now I'm paranoid that they can smell ass as well when they use my computer. Also, if my computer is capable of such absorption, then what about my car seat or the chair I sit on at work, are they doomed to a fate of smelling like ass too?
This is making me immensely paranoid; I feel like my friends are laughing at me behind my back about it and calling me names.
Please, if you're reading this then, in the privacy of your own home, smell your chair for me. Does it smell like ass too?
God I hope I'm not alone.
Edit: To clarify, I [b]do not[/b] have a fetish for sniffing chair seats. I just happened to catch a whiff of ass whilst I was surfing the internet on my computer and decided to check if the distinct aroma was coming from my chair. To my shock and horror, it was.
35 Comments • Newest first
[quote=lmm616]Simple. Apply a butt plug to you-know-where so no juices or stink come out of your hole.[/quote]
I used to have a Baby Jesus Butt Plug a few years back... It was pretty crappy.
Don't sit on the chair anymore.
Squat instead.
It's good for you and the chair.
[quote=LeonDragneel]You're not wiping and washing your hole properly, don't be afraid to put your hand between your crack[/quote]
I thoroughly exfoliate my buttocks with my loofah mitt and Radox body wash. As for wiping, I always follow the rule "wipe til' it's white".
But even after I have a ghost poop (where there's no poop on the tissue after I first wipe), I still follow this rule. Could that be where this problem originates from?
Simple. Apply a butt plug to you-know-where so no juices or stink come out of your hole.
I saw this hours ago and yet I'm still dying.
[quote=SodiumOH]My chairs don't smell like ass. Your chair smells like ass probably because of the way you sit:
[b] 1. Your hole is exposed when you sit [/b]
- You sit with your but cheeks stretched (causing them to be farther apart from 'normal') , thus, exposing your hole and making it touch the chair.
- Some sitting positions make your hole touch the chair.
- or, you just "open" when you're sitting.
[b] 2. Your juices seep through [/b]
- It is a possibility that your sweat seeps through your clothes and go to the chair (along with the smell).[/quote]
If his hole expose. Wouldn't mean he is really loose on the hole? o.o
Simple, don't sit at all
[quote=GodsGift]@swagtasticmofo
You need to read this and get some tips. LOL [/quote]
Seconded. I'm pretty sure your room has this fishy smell lingering.. Try to keep up with the smells okay
[quote=LetThereBeFradd]...you make it sound as if you regularly sniff your seat.[/quote]
I [b]do not[/b] have a fetish for sniffing chair seats. I just happened to catch a whiff of ass whilst I was surfing the internet on my computer and decided to check if the distinct aroma was coming from my chair. To my shock and horror, it was.
use a plastic lawn chair, or get a leather one
@Wallflowers:
The things you learn everyday, huh?
Dude that's so gross. Buy febreeze and wash your butthole better with lots of soap.
Why the hell would you smell your chair in the first place...
My chairs don't get that. I think maybe you need to shower often, make sure your ass is well ventilated so it doesn't sweat, and wipe properly.
how the hell can you type this with a straight face?
On a more serious note, I think it'll depend on what material the chair's made out of and how hot it is/if you have a/c and if you sweat a lot. Also by how old that chair is.
I wouldn't worry about it. Why the hell would a friend smell your chair?
I'm laughing WAY too hard at this thread
Just spray perfume on your chair.
[quote=LlamaKisses]I shower everyday.[/quote]
Lol...
[quote=Wallflowers]Mine smells like chair actually. [/quote]
That's because everyone on the internet knows girls don't fart or exist.
this thread makes me uncomfortable
i guess i'm the only one dying from this? </3
Just get a plastic/ wodden chair chair o.o. It will never smell again, unless you have a REALLY sweaty butt crack.
Your butt is too marinated with sweat when you sit on the chair..
You're not wiping and washing your hole properly, don't be afraid to put your hand between your crack
Put your chair in the dish washing machine.
Alcohol bro , nt even kidding. stuffs potent
My chairs don't smell like ass. Your chair smells like ass probably because of the way you sit:
[b] 1. Your hole is exposed when you sit [/b]
- You sit with your but cheeks stretched (causing them to be farther apart from 'normal') , thus, exposing your hole and making it touch the chair.
- Some sitting positions make your hole touch the chair.
- or, you just "open" when you're sitting.
[b] 2. Your juices seep through [/b]
- It is a possibility that your sweat seeps through your clothes and go to the chair (along with the smell).
Stop farting into the chair? I don't know man, I've passed gas while sitting on my computer chair and it's never smelled like ass, maybe wash back there a little better? Also febreeze daily
You are not swiping properly
[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3WgcQMZJYc]That's the power of pine sol baby[/url]
i just think you're unhygenic
I use a laptop so idk. anyways use febreze or that lysol spray lol
Give it a good pounding.
Mine smells like a sweaty ass
[quote=Wallflowers](wash it with a toothbrush every week and let it airdry overnight or when you go out and frebreeze it often) if you are paranoid about the smell.[/quote]
dying
Febreeze.