Story time

I wish I never loved. Never had any feelings. Oh my god it's so painful. I hate falling in love. I asked her out and told her I had feelings for her. You know what? It is not better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. She wanted to stay friends after. I said sure. I can't believe she says she didn't know I had feelings for her. After the things we did...dude. Friends don't do that stuff. She doesn't owe me anything and is entitled to do whatever she wants obviously, but wtf man. You should have seen her look after I brought her desert and how she smiled at me and got so happy and was like "for me? That's so nice! I should get you something too", or when we visited and did stuff together during the school year, or how she'd wave at me and get excited when I'd come over and we'd do stuff. I swear. Girls are absolutely ridiculous sometimes. Well, at least now I know where we stand.

I went out with two girls the next two days, just as friends, and scheduled stuff to keep me busy. And I'll prolly go out with two more next week to ease the pain. But. It's pretty awful. I cried three times during the last week. Idk. The day after it happened I just started broke down in front of my mentor in my internship. I really didn't mean to, I just started crying and I don't why. I sucked it up pretty quickly though. But he was so chill and supporting and kind, I was really surprised. I don't think I've ever taken it so hard before.

As you can see I use basil to vent about my love life. I prefer to keep to myself about this stuff. I usually just suck it up and deal with it on my own. But I can't always keep it to myself, it hurts too much I feel so much better now that I've let it out. Thanks basil.

Edit: I'll keep what I wrote, but now that I feel better, cooled down a little and think about what happened she did seem pretty depressed when we met idk why , like unhappy with her life, her internship, college, the future. I tried to cheer her up and hope she feels better but she just seemed really sad and closed off, and idk what I should have done. You could even kind of tell by how she sat a little slouched and started into the distance. I just wanna like hug her and hold her tight and be with her because it makes me so sad to see her sad and she's so awesome when she's just herself and so fun to be around and it makes me so happy when she's happy. It's ridiculous, but this is always what happens. And what I feel inside is so much stronger than what I feel around other girls, even those that are clearly interested in me. Honestly, she's the only one I truly care about.

August 8, 2015

8 Comments • Newest first

fradddd

You weren't in love dude. So you didn't "love and lose". You are still in the "never have loved at all" stage.

Reply August 8, 2015

2005chuy

I went through something I think was similar.
I told a good friend I'm in love with her on Tuesday, but she very clearly told me she's greatly in love with someone else. It sucked but at least I know how she feels exactly. She does plenty of things which I would consider to be flirting. It sucks afterward because of the reality, but I can't help loving it while she does it.
Anyway, if the emotional pain ever gets to be too much for you, take some Tylenol. It'll dull your moods for a while if you need it to.

Reply August 8, 2015

RitoPls

Hey bud, happens to the best of us.

I've been through a very bad breakup as well back in late 2013/early 2014. Anything that reminded me of her would make me really sad and I'd start crying. I never understood why she did what she did to me, and the problem was I kept trying to rationalize it. It was a very rough couple of months.

Then in March 2014, I met two super cool girls who took my mind off of her. Although nothing ever came from them except one being the reason I lost my best friend at the time, they showed me that there were definitely more than one girl out there with whom I was compatible. Even though she came back into my life several times after destroying me on the inside, I never had the same feelings towards her because I knew I deserved way better. Sure it hurt a lot when I thought about her, and I even missed her a lot, but now I hardly think of her at all!

We're young, bud. We have plenty of time to find the people with whom we're meant to be. Don't worry about it and just keep doing you. The ladies will follow. :^)

"These hoes the same, all that change is the outfit." - J. Cole

Oh wait, I didn't actually read the thread. She didn't want to go out with you? Well, plenty of fish in the sea. I'm sure tons of great girls would die to go out with you. They'll come eventually.