General

@ People saying he can get arrested.. not necessarily. If you actually read what's written into the law in most progressive countries there are tons of exceptions for people who are dating. There's usually a 5 year gap rule which technically makes 12 and 17 legal, 13 and 18 legal, 14 and 19 legal, 15 and 20 legal, etc. It's to protect people who are dating so that an 18 year old can't go to jail for having sex with his/her girlfriend/boyfriend who's a couple years younger.

But OT: I'm on the fence about this issue, labeling the 17 as a predator is pretty ignorant, but I also think him dating a 12 year old is a bad idea just because of the stigma and because it's not seen as socially acceptable. There's so many girls to choose from why go for a 12 year old lol. I do think it's more about maturity than age as a number.. but 12 is pretty damn young.. More likely than not she's immature and that's a recipe for disaster and to get taken advantage of sexually.

slapnuts

The difference between 12 and 17 is huge, physically and mentally.

@Aeon128 I get exactly what you're saying, mentally, a 12 year old can be way more mature than some 18 year olds out there. But the preconceived notion isn't just because of mental maturity, but also physical maturity. When people think pre-teen, they think tiny and undeveloped. But regardless, just that from a legal standpoint this guy is on a slippery slope lol.

@RxBanditz I probably should have clarified. The example of same generation was referring to couples at an older age. My grandparents were 8 years apart and they got along great for all those years. Yes, at younger ages, an age gap that big wouldn't work, it would be creepy. But that said, these two are just barely past the equivalent of a senior dating a freshman. I know when people think "she's 12" they think of a tiny little girl, but I remember back when I was in 8th grade, some of my class mates looked like grown women physically. So I don't think the guy necessarily has that mindset of dating a child, just a girl from his school.

Now, I personally wouldn't have dated a 12 year old at that age, in high school we had a cardinal rule not to date anyone that wasn't already in high school (aka don't date a middle schooler like he's doing) because you risk jail time if it gets serious and you hit 18. But to each his own lol.

[quote=ox0Shad0w0xo]The problem lies in the stigma of adults lusting after children, ie middle aged men wanting pre-teens and younger. So now, it's viewed negatively when one of the people involved in the relationship is still very young. I personally don't see a problem with an age gap of 8/9 years or less, as it's still within an age where they grew up in mostly the same era/generation, but yeah legally her parents can press charges if they don't like the relationship after he turns 18.[/quote]
An 8-9 year age gap is completely fine once both parties are developed and matured. At 12...? o.o 12... you're not even a teenager, and you're involved with a man about to turn into an adult? How do they even have similar hobbies? I can't imagine what a 17 year old would want with someone that's TWELVE.

[quote=ox0Shad0w0xo]The age gap is a big deal in the younger age groups, simply because of how we view adults versus minors. What makes it bad is because in a year this will become an "adult" dating a girl barely in her teens. Although I still find it weird when someone in their 20s dates someone in their 40s. But that term quite literally is an adult who goes after minors, so that term wouldn't be applied to two legal adults, not matter how big the age gap.[/quote]

That's exactly my point, it's all preconceived notions, humans don't evolve when they get a certain age, we aren't pokemon to make it simple. And no you can have someone who is 12 way more mature than someone who is twice or three times as old. Maturity depends on alot of factors, and i'm not saying this to say 9edophilia is right in any measure, but you have to at least realise people don't magically become "adults" at a certain age, nor does being young mean you can't be a mature rational thinker.

Furthermore our societal/cultural structure in the western world puts limits on our a child's growth even though he/she may be capable of growing/maturing mentally at a faster rate.

@WontPostMuch: You can't decide that anymore than I can unless of course you know the two specific individuals. Mental maturity does not happen at a magical age, rather we are forced to make certain changes to our thinking when society deems it be the right age to progress to the next level (for most people that is).

Physical maturity is also dependent on on the individual and their gene makeup etc. Girls mature at an earlier age than boys, hence when they hit their teens they don't want the boys in their class because they act like "children" to them, and they go looking for more "mature boys which tends to be boys who are couple years older than they are.

@Keane: Wait what? You want [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfZa1I8lxDo]beef[/url] homie? But no really, that's a mighty big logical leap there.

There was some fat mexican chick in my school who was always a huge whore and when we were in 7th grade she said she was dating a 22 year old.

that guy must be extremely weird or she is has developed early and he just cant wait any longer!

@BoredAF: I guess we just have to wait longer for most to become even more mature...or something.
I think we are decreasing the potential productivity of these pre-teens and teens though, with all the restrictions they have.

@HiggyBaby what's wrong with 20 year and 17 year old?

take your age, divide it by two, and add 7. It's the most accurate formula for finding the youngest aged person you can date and still have it be socially acceptable. the only ages where it isn't accurate is 20 and 21.

@fradddd: Well, yeah, some, as in almost none. Way too young imo.

[quote=BoredAF]I think we consider it more inappropriate in Western society. Idk, if they are both mature and know what they want, they can date. It doesn't mean they'll be getting it on maybe she's smart enough to know to hold off. Maybe not. If anything, and her parents disapprove they can press charges in a year.[/quote]

The problem lies in the stigma of adults lusting after children, ie middle aged men wanting pre-teens and younger. So now, it's viewed negatively when one of the people involved in the relationship is still very young. I personally don't see a problem with an age gap of 8/9 years or less, as it's still within an age where they grew up in mostly the same era/generation, but yeah legally her parents can press charges if they don't like the relationship after he turns 18.

@SirLelouchR2: it depends on the 12 year old. Some can.

@fradddd because it's a 12 years old girl with a 17 years old creep, those 5 years are FUNDAMENTAL to your personality, your independence or whatever, do you really think a 12 years old can seriously make up their mind about this stuff? I can't see a scenario where she isn't being taken advantage of her innocence. It's completely different to older people, the comparison makes no sense lol

I would confront the guy instead op

[quote=Aeon128]5 year gap that big a deal? Imagine of all of the 18 yr old girls who date 30+ yr old men, but yet none of them are labelled as 9edophiles.[/quote]

Yeah there's certainly no huge maturity gap between 12 and 17 year olds. Seems like solid logic.

whats worse is that they're in a ldr. This guy could be even older than he says </3

[quote=pojoaskwec0192]old enough to count, old enough to mount[/quote]
Old enough to read, old enough to breed.

Loool. Girl's gonna get wrecked.

Just sayin', but the average married couple is 5 years apart. I learned that from a shampoo bottle.
Call me crazy but I don't see why it's so frowned upon for stuff like this to happen.

@BoredAF I think we should give younger people way more credit. Half of the 10-17 year olds are more responsible than half of the 18+ people in the country, or so it seems. Just make them face the consequences if they make bad decisions, but let them have an opportunity to do the activities that would lead to these positive or negative consequences.

[quote=Aeon128]5 year gap that big a deal? Imagine of all of the 18 yr old girls who date 30+ yr old men, but yet none of them are labelled as 9edophiles.[/quote]

The age gap is a big deal in the younger age groups, simply because of how we view adults versus minors. What makes it bad is because in a year this will become an "adult" dating a girl barely in her teens. Although I still find it weird when someone in their 20s dates someone in their 40s. But that term quite literally is an adult who goes after minors, so that term wouldn't be applied to two legal adults, not matter how big the age gap.

[quote=JekutoNightra]But four years isn't a big difference. It is if you're twelve though.[/quote]

They started dating when she was 13

[quote=mitarumetaro]I know someone who is dating a girl 4 years younger than him. I guess it's her life. If the guy is just trying to lay her, tho, you should be concerned.[/quote]
But four years isn't a big difference. It is if you're twelve though.

5 year gap that big a deal? Imagine of all of the 18 yr old girls who date 30+ yr old men, but yet none of them are labelled as 9edophiles.

Girl is dumb, dude is creepy.
Keep on making threads as this relationship progresses, OP. I'm actually kind of interested to see how this plays out.

think the better question is, why are you friends with a 12 year old girl?

you predator!

jokes aside, i think that's a bit creepy and i certainly wouldn't date a 12 year old when i was 17

[quote=dexslayer]The dude will become a p3d0phile in a year.[/quote]

THATs WHAT I TOLD HER AND SHE DONT EVEN CARE

love have no boundary.

The dude will become a p3d0phile in a year.

Projecting: The girl's naive, the guy's a creep. Get worried.

I know someone who is dating a girl 4 years younger than him. I guess it's her life. If the guy is just trying to lay her, tho, you should be concerned.

I think it's strange, and almost pathetic on the part of the guy.