Hanging out with a guy?
So.. I finally got the guts to ask this dude if he wanted to hang out. He's from another school and I've only ever talked to him through text or at tournaments, so I'm kind of scared it's gonna be really awkward.. Also I've never hung out with just a guy before, so I'm not sure where I should suggest we go, or what to talk about.. HAHA
On another note, when I asked him if he was down for Monday, he replied with, "Most likely yes!" I don't mean to be a pessimist, but does that mean I might get blown off last minute? LOL.. It's not a big deal, but it'd be pretty messed up if he flaked and I'd rather not get my hopes up.
Just wondering if I could get some lovely basil advice or troll comments; what were your experiences in hanging out with the opposite gender (or same gender if you roll the other way)?
19 Comments • Newest first
@ritopls you make it sound like girls have privilege, or that girls and guys can never be friends. =_= Anyway I'm pretty sure that sex is not the first thing on the list.
I actually think its perfectly fine for a girl to ask a guy she's interested in. There is no need to follow whats socially constructed.
[quote=ritopls]Did he use that exclamation mark?
If he did, oh boy. You better have some water handy because this man has been roaming the desert for 40 days and has a deep thirst.
It's bad enough that you, the girl, asked him to hang out. This means there's a 97% chance you want to have sex with him. And now he thinks you're going to have sex with him.
So, get ready to have sex with him.
Never, ever EVER ask guys to hang out. You need to have them come to you, or you give up all your power. If he doesn't think you're having sex with 12 different guys a week, then you're doing it all wrong.
Follow this advice until you're 30 i.e. when you have no bargaining power and need to take whatever you can get.
As for when I hang out with girls, well, you know. I don't hang out with girls I don't want to have sex with, and they wouldn't hang out with a guy they didn't want to have sex with.
On the real, I would cancel your plans with him. Just that exclamation mark alone tells me he's a loser.[/quote]
tfw you don't have sex with girls but say you do
people who use "!" annoy me. i imagine them overly excited and giddy when i read the text.
"im good, how are you?"
"cool, that's fantastic!"
netfli6x and c9hill
[quote=ritopls]Did he use that exclamation mark?
If he did, oh boy. You better have some water handy because this man has been roaming the desert for 40 days and has a deep thirst.
It's bad enough that you, the girl, asked him to hang out. This means there's a 97% chance you want to have sex with him. And now he thinks you're going to have sex with him.
So, get ready to have sex with him.
Never, ever EVER ask guys to hang out. You need to have them come to you, or you give up all your power. If he doesn't think you're having sex with 12 different guys a week, then you're doing it all wrong.
Follow this advice until you're 30 i.e. when you have no bargaining power and need to take whatever you can get.
As for when I hang out with girls, well, you know. I don't hang out with girls I don't want to have sex with, and they wouldn't hang out with a guy they didn't want to have sex with.
On the real, I would cancel your plans with him. Just that exclamation mark alone tells me he's a loser.[/quote]
rito gets no females / kitty. you'd expect him to be this cute guy nah .. the deception.
But not gonna lie some of it is true ... except when he puts his own situation. no one wants his d tbh
Not trolling but rito pretty much has it spot on.
From my personal experience, a girl l had recently met at the time asked to hang out and have some dinner with me. l wasn't sure what to think about it, or if it were going to be she liked me, or if it were a normal dinner l had no idea. l agreed to it and we hung out, and l just felt painfully awkward only because l had not known her for that long and l wasn't even sure what kind of hangout it was. lt's so bad to think this way that if a girl were to ask a guy to hang out, it would mean in the guys mind that she likes him, etc. lt ended up being a normal dinner just to chill and get to know each other, and l regret so hard what l had done/not done that night in terms of getting to know her as a friend.
[quote=ritopls]Did he use that exclamation mark?
If he did, oh boy. You better have some water handy because this man has been roaming the desert for 40 days and has a deep thirst.
It's bad enough that you, the girl, asked him to hang out. This means there's a 97% chance you want to have sex with him. And now he thinks you're going to have sex with him.
So, get ready to have sex with him.
Never, ever EVER ask guys to hang out. You need to have them come to you, or you give up all your power. If he doesn't think you're having sex with 12 different guys a week, then you're doing it all wrong.
Follow this advice until you're 30 i.e. when you have no bargaining power and need to take whatever you can get.
As for when I hang out with girls, well, you know. I don't hang out with girls I don't want to have sex with, and they wouldn't hang out with a guy they didn't want to have sex with.
On the real, I would cancel your plans with him. Just that exclamation mark alone tells me he's a loser.[/quote]
this is what happens when your only dating experience comes from the internet
@manateens summed it up pretty well. I just want to wish you luck and just have fun with it.
[quote=ritopls] and they wouldn't hang out with a guy they didn't want to have sex with.[/quote]
Ummm...hold the phone. Is that true? You're saying that just because my crush has hung out with me she wants to have sex with me?
In all honesty if he flakes last minute forget about him, because two things can happen either he's way too nervous and is thinking the same thing you are ooooooor he really doesn't care for you enough to actually show up. Just keep talking to him until Monday comes up or ask him if he's even free earlier who knows.
How old
its hanging out....chill.
decide beforehand what your boundaries are and what youre ok with and know how to say no
dont netflix and chill, dont be a booty call
where you go/what you do depends on who yall are as people. coffee shop and talk, or a movie, go for a walk somewhere interesting or go hiking, go swimming, go foraging for berries, yknow it just depends on what either of you enjoys and if you want to talk or you want to do something with company. its peach picking season where i am so like if i was hanging out w anyone it'd be fun to pick peaches then come back and make a pie or something together...but im very food oriented.
talk about anything, like he's one of your other friends... a decent guy wont be scared to talk about girly things. and if he wants to hang out with you as much as you want to hang out with him, you'll get over the initial "so...do you like the rap music" awkwardness of asking questions and you'll fall into conversation about something.
if it's not there don't force it.
if you're uncomfortable with anything he does, say so.
it's always a tiny bit awkward getting to know someone but it goes away pretty fast when you find common ground and if the awkwardness doesnt go away, dont worry - he's just a guy who it didnt work out with, there will be plenty more with whom youre more comfortable.
He wont cancel unless he a player
pls give ages or range for context.
Dat exclamation mark is a good sign.
Just talk about whatever you feel like.
@ritopls you are why we can't have nice things. Stop making it seem like everyone is desperate.
Flaunt your assets
Do you want in?
Lol Rito you are funny.
Anyways, you made a good choice to ask the guy to hang out. Not many girls do that, so he will appreciate you that much more for doing so. When you guys hang out, just ask him how his day has been, answer the questions he asks you, and just engage in nice conversation with him like bringing up something you can both relate too(like funny memories) and then just go on from there. You got this! Lucky for you, guys aren't too complicated lol
^ This man speaks the eternal truth.
No really, he does.
Did he use that exclamation mark?
If he did, oh boy. You better have some water handy because this man has been roaming the desert for 40 days and has a deep thirst.
It's bad enough that you, the girl, asked him to hang out. This means there's a 97% chance you want to have sex with him. And now he thinks you're going to have sex with him.
So, get ready to have sex with him.
Never, ever EVER ask guys to hang out. You need to have them come to you, or you give up all your power. If he doesn't think you're having sex with 12 different guys a week, then you're doing it all wrong.
Follow this advice until you're 30 i.e. when you have no bargaining power and need to take whatever you can get.
As for when I hang out with girls, well, you know. I don't hang out with girls I don't want to have sex with, and they wouldn't hang out with a guy they didn't want to have sex with.
On the real, I would cancel your plans with him. Just that exclamation mark alone tells me he's a loser.