Strongest and Weakest classes - real life style
So, this is maybe a weird thread to make. I got the inspiration for it when me and my friend were having some banter on Skype. We started joking about a hypothetical situation in which you could really get training as a Maple class in real life, taking the rip out of what a disaster that'd be mainly. He asked me what class I'd end up as, and after a moment's thought, I was like -
"Well frankly, I'm not very good at anything. I got arms like pipe cleaners and a head fit only for smacking walls. But hey, if you're not good at much in particular - be a Bowmaster!"
'Cause let's be real. Paladin? Awesome. Calling down lightning from the sky and summoning holy invulnerability. F/P? Sweet. Blowing up buildings with your mind! Bowmaster... err... well, I'm, like, REALLY good with this bow!
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Hence this. I say real-life style but applying superhero logic, which classes are going to be the Supermen and who's Hawkeye*?
(*Not the ginger Thunder Breaker dude, he cool.)
Here's a few of my nominations.
The Best:
Blaze Wizard: dude! We might not have FMA hax in real life, but thematically-speaking this class is powerful as Hell. Spit fireballs! Enslave dragons! Throw suns at stuff! Summon a whack meteor! Only ability this class doesn't have irl is its truly impressive talent to lag out my toaster laptop.
Kaiser: he's a dragon. Dragons automatically kick ass.
Shadower: gets points not for being able to whup other extremely powerful beings, but the Shad could assassinate any squishy human in a moment, with no chance of getting caught at all. And no, I'm not talking about Dark Sight + Assassinate. I'm talking, in fact, about Meso Explosion. This ability is just rude. That one dickish co-worker of yours has gone to Starbucks to buy his plain and simple triple-frappe strawberry macchiato cappucino with gingerbread syrup. He gets his wallet out and reaches in for a $5, and... BAM! Not only is he not getting his coffee, you probably just blew his hand clean off, you horrible person!
Buccaneer: obligatory Super Saiyan comment goes here. No but seriously, Buccs are one of the only classes that can generate a whole ton of energy with no kind of weapon to focus with at all. That's pretty cool. Plus, you can split the earth and summon tornadoes with a lazy gesture of the hands alone. Plus, if all else fails, just spam Somersault Kick for that cheapass 100% invincibility frames, unless your opponent hacked himself some %HP attacks and then you're in trouble. Only problem is you still look like crap next to Saitama, er, I mean Blaster.
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The Worst:
Marksman: I know I riffed on Bowmaster but at least the Bowmaster uses a bow. Man, crossbows are rubbish if we're getting nerdy and realistic! You fire your one shot and the enemy just kinda takes it, then you gotta be like "Sorry mate, just give me 15 seconds to reload this thing. Any second now. Aaaany second.": guess what, whoomph, you've got a crowbar wrapped around your skull.
Xenon: *points bar magnet bought for £1 on eBay at him*
Cannoneer: now I won't deny that monkeys are cool, but when you get realistic, there's some unshown downsides to keeping them. They dump, everywhere. All the time. And some of the monkeys sit inside little cockpit-style machines! It's gonna smell even worse than your average Mapler after a weekend grinding at Maze 5: and there's no way you can make a glamorous, heroic entrance with monkey crap all down the back of your elegantly-cut longcoat. Even then, you're still yet another "oh yeah, I've got this cannon... and I'm, like, really REALLY good at shooting stuff with it".
...Any others?
17 Comments • Newest first
Evan- A mage which can use all elements, which also owns a onyx dragon, and can cause earthquakes and pillars of light to strike the Earth.
Shade- revive yourself ,summon a giant green spirit to maul things, become a spirit with crazy powers and are invincible for a while. We can also teleport, naturally tough, and easy to blend in crowds.
@ichii: You know, I never thought of the importance (and various strengths) of keeping a low profile. I was just thinking in terms of pure power, but yeah - in terms of getting about their business Mages and Thieves in general would have a huge advantage (lack of necessity of obvious weaponry for both and stealth skills in the case of the latter). Special shout-out to Beast Tamer for f-ing people up with a friggin' housecat.
Bowmaster and Wind Archer might be able to just about get away with having a bow over their shoulder, it's not completely outlandish at least in more pastoral settings. I think Crossbows or Bowguns on hand would draw a fair bit of suspicion, though, they're not commonplace tools. Mechanic's Mech expands out of almost nothing and pistols are pretty easy to conceal for both them and the Corsair. Shade's got his spiritual BS to get around (maybe he could pass himself off as some casual Pagan dude?), but Buccaneer's Energy Charge is gonna stand out just a little in a crowded city centre.
Most of all though, rip Warriors. With phat armour and phatter swords, the only place they're gonna vaguely blend in is the highly dangerous halls of the anime convention.
@wall: Corsair have very useful things.. Pirate ship to sail away from the haters, also we can fly. Also lots of bullets.
@galbatore: You'd rely too heavily on your sword to do everything and, like you said, carrying it around all the time is likely to draw some unwanted attention(can't cut your way out of everything).
As a Kinesis you'd still be a telekinetic even without your limiter(should probably keep it on though lol) and it wraps around your wrist making it very convenient. AB is basically the definition of "magical girl" so you'd have no problem going out and about as your alter ego(her transformation ring is also convenient). Phantom can teleport, is a master of disguise and has that scanning ability, plus, there's nothing suspicious about a cane.
Zero would likely stand out as well since you'd always be around your female/male self and your weapons are bound to your person, but you'd also be able to distort time and space so I'm sure there'd be some way to work around that.
All of them have mobility that's on par with if not better than Hayato's.
Fire poison can brew up a fog so poisonous most living things wouldnt be able to breath and then teleport out, not to mention BLOW it up and light people on fire.
Evan has a dragon
Kaiser cuz ya
jett wud be awesome
@wall: Honestly I'd thought that in terms of 'so how impressive is this class' skills', Corsair and Mechanic were the second and first least impressive respectively.
I mean, at least you could say it's pretty hard to be 'really good' with a bow or crossbow. But a gun? Come on. Point and shoot. Admittedly it at least gets a couple of points for summoning octopi (good for a nice bit of fresh grilled calamari), but my boy Mech really is the bottom of the barrel.
"I, uh. Well I pilot this here ovenmobile."
That is rubbish! They don't even invent their own devices. Even though the Mechanic's Mech is very versatile and powerful compared to our own world's armoured vehicles, the Mechanic is definitely the closest class to... well, us. They don't have any powers to speak of that just originate from themselves, other than the standard Mapler abilities of being able to survive underwater, in alien atmospheres and in a vacuum.
@ichii: Well, what about Hayato? Realistically, all those flashy sword skills are certainly awesome and probably pretty useful to boot, at least compared to firing a crossbow, very hard (With Vapor Blade, finally you can reach that one annoyingly high-ass shelf in your kitchen cupboards!). The bad news is, you're going to be mistaken for a weebtacular* cosplayer everywhere you go, and is that crushing dishonour worth it?
(*Even though you're actually Japanese)
Best:
Zero for obvious godly time manipulating powers.
Kinesis for obvious reasons(Telekinesis has always been a desirable super power).
Angelic Buster is another good one. She's a Dragon, Idol and(if you actually read dialogue in this game) her ring/bracelet grants her unlimited power(casually summons a blackhole). Plus, you get your own space time dimension dressing room. <3
Phantom is also pretty good considering how wealthy you'd end up and the fact that they can copy explorer's skills.
Worst:
I honestly can't think of worse jobs than Marksman or Cannoneer.
Bishop - Because of Bishop's free service of healing all kinds of problems, hospitals have become an urban legend through it's life. Plus we had a massive influx of zombies, but no one seems to mind much.
Buccaneers - Possibly the next champion for Megaton punch! (It can happen I tell you!)
Paladins - Because of their impeccable defenses they took over as stunt doubles and American Football all stars.
I'm gonna say Xenon would be the strongest; The Android saga was no joke plus I mean their hyper skill is kind of a nuke.
Buccaneers are always nice :o
Kinesis would be dope AF
@repentant: Damn, that's clever. I didn't even think of that and you're totally right. It'd be like Bruce Almighty when Bruce ends up flooding Indonesia because of his casual moon-shifting.
@stoker: Vietnam 2 ;-;
Another to add to the Worst selection:
Luminous. Now, I've got a bit of bright light oversensitivity to me so I know how painful Lumi can be, but I soon found a solution. They can be found at most pharmacies and general stores for a couple of quid and they are called sunglasses. Although, getting Death himself to do your bidding is pretty serious... a good time for BaM to nip in as well?
Best:
Thunder Breaker. Because if, for some reason, you wanted a Jaws 5 - he'll be able to provide some damn good visual effects!
Shadowers confirmed to not like Starbucks?
I'd say Dawn Warrior. Being able to control the sun and the moon would have pretty disastrous implications. They could prevent the sun from rising or bring the moon closer and drown entire continents in water.
Evan: Has a dragon. Dragons automatically kick ass.