Sharing my grief
I hope there aren't people wanting to insult me like my previous thread
but I'm unable to sleep and sharing helps me feel better.
If it does become a thread of insults, I will need a mod to delete this thread, like the previous one.
It's the second day following the death of my dog.
He was so excited to go on his daily walk.
So excited that he'd whine when he sees me holding his leash.
He loved the dog park, always pulling the leash towards there.
It ended with him tail down, whimpering, staggering away towards the gate, bleeding. Full of fear
Remembering how much fear and pain he was in. It's difficult.
On my lap on the way to the hospital, the car bump must've hurt him a lot.
He tried to escape the pain by digging upwards on the chair.
High pitched yelps of fear and pain
then
Trembling, whimpering, and raspy breathing.
He loved my sister. I bet he was thinking of her and wanted to see her.
He only ever barked whenever she came home.
He's a small dog, so when his tail wags, his butt moves with it.
He was always so soft to hug, pick up, stuff my face into.
If you press your nose against his nose, he'd lick it.
If you ask for a high-five he'll do it. To your hand or to your shin.
I didn't realize having an outlet for my love was so helpful.
I just keep imagining
How much fear and pain he had
How much he wanted to see my sister
How the blood smelt
Still now, I sometimes smell his blood and remember the car ride all over again.
I catch myself thinking I'd like to pick him up and hug him, but that's impossible now.
I typed this out in the prose is probably bizarre.
I'm feeling better now. Maybe he won't occupy my mind as much after tonight's sleep
Thanks for any kindness. I'm sure people are seeing this as whining or what not but it does help me clear my head.
This will be the last, I feel like I'll be over it soon.
7 Comments • Newest first
i love u man and ur dog i hope u feel better
Thanks everyone.
I wrote this in a deep state of sadness and distress.
I either overcame it, or this is a temporary high.
My sister is still crying at times, but the dog and her loved each other the most.
They're together all the time in the house and when sleeping.
There's still a lingering sadness inside me though but I think that will wear out overtime.
I think next month, I'll start looking for another dog.
Not as a replacement but as a new companion.
I literally read everything, sorry for your loss man.
In the eyes of an angel
Sorry for your lost. Rest in peace friend.
What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes part of us. - Helen Keller
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched.
They must be felt with the heart.- Helen Keller
I fall asleep in the full and certain hope that my slumber shall not be broken; and that, though I be all-forgetting, yet I shall not be all-forgotten, but continue that life in the thoughts and deeds of those I have loved.- Samuel Butler
'Say not in grief 'he is no more' but live in thankfulness that he was'- Hebrew proverb
"Parting is all we know of heaven, and all we need of hell." - Emily Dckinson
Sorry to hear about your dog friend, but he loves you. He wouldn't want you to be upset or sad over this, but instead remember all the good times you two had. He will live through you, you much vow to fulfill your life to the greatest possibility, complete all your dreams, reach your full awesome unique magnificent potential and treat the world as compassionately and generously as you did with this lovely dog who had such a noble privilege of being your friend
A friend to take care of him, feed him, bathe him, supply him with shelter, have fun with. He was so lucky and greatful to have such a kind friend, a friend he loved more than anyone else.
You have to try your best to shift your mood to being happy, doing so will make you and life feel better. Remember some things you are grateful for, go through your head and begin to list and shout what you're happy to have. "I am grateful for internet, I am grateful for friends, I am grateful for food, etc." Force yourself to smile and laugh as you remember a precious memory or what makes you happy.
You'll be fine trust me, my father passed when I was only 12 and it still haunts me but I know happiness is too precious to give up and I must truly live for his sake.
Feel free to pm me if you'd like to chat buddy.
i'm sorry for your loss. he's still here, just in doggy heaven