friends? who needs em
It bothers me sometimes to think of the fragility of relationships- platonic, intimate, and romantic alike
What's the point of investing so much of ourselves into these things if they can fall apart at any given moment?
Recently one of my closest friends randomly stopped replying to me. I have no idea what the hell happened, and I know for a fact I didn't do anything wrong. I even tried being civil about it and reached out to him to see what was going on but nope.. nothing. Sure, we had our differences. Sure, I made him who he is today and went through phases of awkward growth because of his jealousy. Sure, he was understanding beyond anything I could ever imagine and always looked out for me in times of need. But it doesn't matter because I have other friends, maybe even closer than him who I know I can count on. It's kind of funny too because I just finished reading a Haruki Murakami book, and the fleeting nature of relationships is definitely something I consistently see him touch base on.
Are we to blame for this? We as individuals become so obsessed with the self, that it's so easy to diminish the value of everything around us. I mean, I'm definitely not perfect. I know I've been a crappy friend at times, a failed lover, one who avoids smalltalk, etc. I can't help but feel, however, that if there's one thing I continue to do, it's to pour out love. To [b]anyone and everyone[/b]. Maybe I'm just being naive, but something's gotta give eventually. And it definitely has. At least for me. How about you?
Don't mind me, ranting after a long day of work. But if you're feeling pensive, do feel free to chitchat here about failed friendships and those you hold closest to your heart and soul.
12 Comments • Newest first
You're absolutely right. Friends and family are such sugar coated words. In the end they're still humans that have every right to take advantage of or betray anyone at any point. Therefore it's best to just stick to yourself and only to yourself. Feel free to use other people to get what you need but you shouldn't ever trust something of importance to them. Basically you don't need friends and family, rather use them to reap the benefits after all they would do the same to you, experienced it all too much and I find it much better to reap the benefits rather than be sad thinking that true friendship and kinship exists in the first place.
I'm not really one to talk about myself, but I've had my first experience at unrequited love and all that stuff fairly recently, she's my best friend, and lives in montreal and stuff (even saved up money for a while to see her last month and go to an anime con with her) and is probably the best thing to happen to me, but yeahh, guess to her I'm just best friend, which is great and I'm happy and all but ehh y'know? I'm also not an emotional person really, so I've never really felt this stuff before, its harder to deal with than I thought it'd be.
@Killeen oh nice so you'll be leaving for college soon? or working~ either's cool and that means you're definitely at a point where you'll be meeting a crapton of new people
@Killeen make this your safe space and vent away
I hope you don't lose hope- only way to find 'em is to keep looking haha are you in college or younger?
@xtripled ahhh awesome! yeah, i actually think that's honestly the best thing to do though.. taking at least a bit of time. i get concerned about friends who switch from partner to partner with no breaks (makes me think they're thinking with another part of their body if you catch my drift ohoho)
@TehRaygunicorn: yep, i've read it, great read.
yeah, i have a few friends that took months off from dating because they didn't want to get hurt again, avoid the pain of heart break.
[quote=lukethebuc]friEND
girlfriEND
boyfriEND
FAMILY
family is the single most important relationship you will ever have...[/quote]
so deep adele is rolling in it
@xtripled
Very well said
I'm not sure if you've heard of it, but there's this beautiful book called The Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard. I read it for a philosophy class a while back and while it was certainly a bunch of verbose mumbo jumbo, the essence of her story touched base on what you mention. It's important to go through pain, rather than trying to avoid it. Only then do I truly believe we will grow and prosper, especially through love.
I can't help but wonder if that's what some people do, though. Avoid the pain..
[quote=lukethebuc]friEND
girlfriEND
boyfriEND
FAMILY
family is the single most important relationship you will ever have...[/quote]
thanks for the optimism, but my family is full of racist religious extremists that think they own the roads.
I think relationships with people (dating or just friends) is such a beautiful thing. It has the potential to be the most wonderful thing going for you in your life but at the same time, you're right, it just takes one fight and everything is ruined but that's okay. I rather go through those rough times to be able to experience all the other wonderful moments that we'll spend together.
For every friendship that lasts a life time, you'll have multiple that end poorly, but i personally think it's worth it. I rather not be alone in this world.
[quote=lukethebuc]friEND
girlfriEND
boyfriEND
FAMILY
family is the single most important relationship you will ever have...[/quote]
Wow, that's pretty deep haha But I definitely agree
I guess the closest thing to family would be your significant other, as one can argue that individual is the one who potentially becomes your family in creating a new one (if that's the life you're about naimsayin)
@tiesandbowties don't get me wrong- I have some incredible friends. It just sucks/hurts when you lose someone you thought was your closest friend, you know? I guess, objectively speaking, that would make them not your closest friend in the first place but still..
are you serious? Friends are what keeps me going when the times get tough. if they're real, they'll always lend you a hand.
if you think you don't need friends, you just haven't friended the right people yet.
friEND
girlfriEND
boyfriEND
FAMILY
family is the single most important relationship you will ever have...