am i abnormal?
I am someone that is not close at all with their family.
Yesterday, my mom talked to me about how she is upset with me. She is upset that I never tell her anything about what i do with friends or send her pictures of me hanging out with friends. Her friend's children send their parents pictures so i guess my mom feels left out? Generally, I am not affectionate towards my mom because of, idk. I'm just not. The last time I remember hugging her was when I was in grade 6. Same with my sibling. We don't talk to each other much either. I never ask about how my mom's work was, or anything like that to get to know her. I guess you can say that I really don't know anything about my family. At home, we're alone with our computers and are never in the same room. I also don't say "welcome back" or any sort of greeting when my mom comes back from a long day of work. But yeah, I'm uncomfortable with showing even the least bit of affection towards them. If you were to ask me to hug them, i'd prefer not to.
I don't really even like talking to them either. I don't know why.
I mean, I'd love to become that rosey-pictured family where everyone is there for each other, loves each other, etc. However, its hella awkward.
Do you think this behavior is abnormal?
22 Comments • Newest first
normal is not something that can be defined it something you yourself define there nothing that can say your not normal because that would be a opinion not a fact unless you consider it a fact. Hell people thought back then that stapling a person to a cross is a normal punishment for stealing a potato but now it horrifying. It the reason why we are human we only follow the norm without question or doubt, we don't like change it twist our normal life into something we don't recognize as life. Do yourself a favor and follow your own rules not the one you were given because people are selfish and impose themselves on you like its normal.
This describes me perfectly. You're not abnormal.
Turn off your computer please, your mom needs you more than the computer
You should give her a hug <3
That's normal imo. In time, you'll be more in touch with your emotional side and slowly realize how important your family is to you.
My family is also like that. Don't worry too much about it.
ur normal in ur own way
I think it's pretty normal. I kind of think kids sending parents pictures of them hanging out is weird.
If my kid didn't send me pictures of them hanging out with their friends I wouldn't care. I honestly don't think she should be upset unless she has no friends and no life, nor should she be trying to vicariously live through your experiences, although I can't tell if she is.
I am not too close with my parents since they only speak Chinese and my Chinese is terrible lol. However my older sister and I are very close. We can talk about pretty much anything without it being awkward. I think you are fine but to me its weird you don't talk to your sibling much.
That's more normal than a lot of families I know. So... yeah
@ShammyShakes: well she wasn't abusive. I wouldn't call it abuse, it was more like the typical physical and mental discipline. I was only punished if i did something wrong, although i admit that sometimes my mum was harsh with her words.
[quote=Wanton]yeah man, like I know that I should treat her better. I've told myself so many times, but its like idk. After all these years of not being affectionate, its sort of hard. I guess its also a bit hard to be more affectionate towards her because its like; this is the woman who used to hit me and tell me, "why did I give birth to you" and "why am I even living" and "you should just die" whenever I made a mistake when I was a kid and now she wants to be affectionate with me? like, i wish i could move on too? ? ?[/quote]
ight then i take it back if she was hella abusive then it's all good nvm.
Seems normal to me; I make conversations with my parents every now and then to show that I still love/care about them.
You should try to show your mom you love her. Sometimes people need to know that someone cares about them, that their existence matters.
Just imagine things from her perspective and you will realize what she wants and needs.
She will be happy that you shown her concern and that you appreciate her.
[quote=tiesandbowties]should show your mom some love if you're living under the same roof and she's practically feeding you.
a hug, a call, a nice word after work? come on man, if you don't treat you mother right, how you gonna treat your wife?
your mom did more for you than any possible girlfriend or wife could ever reciprocate for you. when i date girls, i explicitly tell him my mother is more important than you, and if they're salty about that i instantly know she's not wifey material.[/quote]
yeah man, like I know that I should treat her better. I've told myself so many times, but its like idk. After all these years of not being affectionate, its sort of hard. I guess its also a bit hard to be more affectionate towards her because its like; this is the woman who used to hit me and tell me, "why did I give birth to you" and "why am I even living" and "you should just die" whenever I made a mistake when I was a kid and now she wants to be affectionate with me? like, i wish i could move on too? ? ?
If I made this thread, I would have made [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yH97lImrr0Q]Abby Normal[/url] joke in the thread title
Definitely not abnormal, my brother and I have sort of the same situation with my dad. I mean we have our "hey dad" and stuff he asks us about school and so on, but we never have a full blown conversation because just like you I feel awkward. Nothing wrong with that though, you're just in that comfort zone where you're used to not talking to her, but you should definitely try cracking out of that shell. You'll regret not getting to know your mom, or try talking to her about anything really. It may be awkward, but just ask her how her day at work was it'll make her really happy and it'll make you feel kinda good as well.
should show your mom some love if you're living under the same roof and she's practically feeding you.
a hug, a call, a nice word after work? come on man, if you don't treat you mother right, how you gonna treat your wife?
your mom did more for you than any possible girlfriend or wife could ever reciprocate for you. when i date girls, i explicitly tell them my mother is more important than you, and if they're salty about that i instantly know she's not wifey material.
Nah I'm the same. I don't really talk to my parent's other than small talk. I feel like if I opened up to them they'd be disappointed with the stuff I've done. I do have a cool handshake with my dad and hug and kiss my mom. But you know what? I think it works for us. We still go out as a family every now and then, could it be a healthier relationship? Yeah, but no family is purfect.
Abnormal af. She carried your sorry arse for 9months, nurtured ya, cared for ya, wiped yer bum for ya, and this is how you repay her? Get off your computer, dap your sibling up once in a while and for god's sake give your mother a hug sometimes.
Edit: I forgot everyone on basil was a 3edgy5me teen.
everyone has a different family life so idk, i wouldnt worry about it too much
my mom is overly affectionate and i am not, so she calls me out on it all the time but it's never really been a big deal
Nah it's not abnormal, it's the same for me and my family. I guess if you want to make it less awkward start with your mom.