Does being Asian make you feel weak?
In a way, I feel as if it's something that cannot be separated from the real me. I cannot escape it--instantly, everyone knows my race, and there's nothing I can do to change it. I would have no problem if I wasn't so small and weird. I've been this way for most of my life, and me being insanely energetic (and sometimes annoying) doesn't help.
Sometimes, I wish I could change my race. On the inside, I don't feel Asian. I feel like me, my soul, and my name doesn't mean anything. The fact that my body and people's perceptions about me imprisons me brings me despair. I can't easily escape the patterns that are burned into me due to stereotypes. I have to wearily bear them, hopefully shifting slowly.
Additionally, most people don't find Asian men hot. Big sigh for me. How the hell can I feel like a man if people think I look feminine and tell me I'm feminine? It doesn't help that I'm a year or more younger than people in my grade.
What can I do to change this? Thanks guys.
32 Comments • Newest first
Feels good being White.
Do we even lift?
#Asianproblems
You should move to Asia and experience life over there. Think about all the people who could end up with a mindset like you but did not because they are actually born and raised in Asia.
@MagiBombchu
You're right. Except that anything can be a problem if you allow it to be one.
[quote=tuesdaymorning]One of the things girls tend not to like about short guys is that they're insecure about their height. Some of them seem really defensive in general, some seem to act overly macho to make up for their height, and in general many short guys seem hyperactive and angry, kind of the way small dogs act in comparison to big dogs (big dogs are usually more chill and less violent because they feel they are so big that other dogs don't pose a threat to their status).
The thing is, being short as a guy is rough in the same way that being really obese is difficult for a girl. But you cannot change your height. If you want people to stop viewing you the way they do now, making fun of you, you need to be at peace with yourself. For example, I know that I'm not stupid, nor am I unattractive, so when people insult me and say that I'm stupid or unattractive, I can brush it off because I don't care about their opinions. I already know myself and feel secure, so comments here and there from people won't change my opinion of myself for the worse.
What girls like are guys who feel secure about themselves, their accomplishments, attributes, and abilities. That doesn't come from height, looks, or race, it comes from what you think of yourself. Change yourself before you can expect people to change the way they react to you.[/quote]
Right, but all this comes from making an additional effort to have people know you.
This only works if the girls aren't uninterested from the get-go, and you'd have to be comparatively better with your social skills as an Asian guy than say a white guy.
Basically, yeah, all your points are valid no matter what kind of man you are, but it'd be a million times easier if you didn't have to carry the burden of "weak" stereotypes. You'd still be overcompensating in some way, as you're making a conscious decision to combat it. In the end, seeming aloof or being "secure" of something like this is still a defensive measure.
[quote=aBassAgent]no because i'm part filipino. strongest nation in the world with most swag and yolo[/quote]
#illest
#sarcasm
[quote=zoneflare2]@laker1294 A-chan is travel size [/quote]
Mhmm and I could easily hide in your suit case. JK.
Be a tall asian like me.
[quote=tuesdaymorning]One of the things girls tend not to like about short guys is that they're insecure about their height. Some of them seem really defensive in general, some seem to act overly macho to make up for their height, and in general many short guys seem hyperactive and angry, kind of the way small dogs act in comparison to big dogs (big dogs are usually more chill and less violent because they feel they are so big that other dogs don't pose a threat to their status).
The thing is, being short as a guy is rough in the same way that being really obese is difficult for a girl. But you cannot change your height. If you want people to stop viewing you the way they do now, making fun of you, you need to be at peace with yourself. For example, I know that I'm not stupid, nor am I unattractive, so when people insult me and say that I'm stupid or unattractive, I can brush it off because I don't care about their opinions. I already know myself and feel secure, so comments here and there from people won't change my opinion of myself for the worse.
What girls like are guys who feel secure about themselves, their accomplishments, attributes, and abilities. That doesn't come from height, looks, or race, it comes from what you think of yourself. Change yourself before you can expect people to change the way they react to you.[/quote]
This is probably the best advice I've ever seen given on all of Basilmarket.
Unfortunately the TS and others will most likely ignore it in favor of further talking about their Asian problems.
[quote=RedWolf]Ha ha. Thanks everyone![/quote]
Has your voice changed yet? That's like the key indicator of how tall you'll be. If it changed recently like within 6 months, get ready for a growth spurt. If it hasn't changed and is still squeaky, then you'll end up at like 5'9. If it's changed like well over a year ago then your screwed, you'll probably end up at 5'6.
@RedWolf Don't worry about your height because you're only 15.. You'll probably grow until you're 22 (something like that) since you're a guy. You could grow a beard to look older.. I think glasses make you look older, as well.
OT: Not really since I'm a girl. I'm okay with being short and small.
[quote=RedWolf]I am already athletic and have friends; it's just I have a problem with respect as a man and as a normal person.[/quote]
Girls like feminine looking guys. Take Justin Bieber for example. I'm completely serious. Btw how small are? Like less than 5'5?
Ha ha. Thanks everyone!
[quote=Sunshinee]why would you want to change your race
S W A G
something we azns got.[/quote]
Yes we do, we have SWAG,
Scientific
Wild
A55
Guess
That's what my Calculus teacher told me.
One of the things girls tend not to like about short guys is that they're insecure about their height. Some of them seem really defensive in general, some seem to act overly macho to make up for their height, and in general many short guys seem hyperactive and angry, kind of the way small dogs act in comparison to big dogs (big dogs are usually more chill and less violent because they feel they are so big that other dogs don't pose a threat to their status).
The thing is, being short as a guy is rough in the same way that being really obese is difficult for a girl. But you cannot change your height. If you want people to stop viewing you the way they do now, making fun of you, you need to be at peace with yourself. For example, I know that I'm not stupid, nor am I unattractive, so when people insult me and say that I'm stupid or unattractive, I can brush it off because I don't care about their opinions. I already know myself and feel secure, so comments here and there from people won't change my opinion of myself for the worse.
What girls like are guys who feel secure about themselves, their accomplishments, attributes, and abilities. That doesn't come from height, looks, or race, it comes from what you think of yourself. Change yourself before you can expect people to change the way they react to you.
Yeah, sometimes I wish I was born as a different person to wonder what it is like.
@BoxWoman inb4 this story gives hope to asian basilers
so basically you have a really crappy mindset about your race because you live in the US(?) and White Is King
i'm sorry about that
i think "masculinity" is portrayed just as much, if not more, in behaviors and such. well actually it's pretty dumb to think being Asian excludes you from "masculinity." if that's really your goal you can achieve it with work. not everybody is going to see it that way you do, but as long as you're satisfied and have people around you it'll be fine.
No, it makes me want to turn into a super sayian.
You're the type of guy I'll make fun of in class..
I find asian men hot I think my chinese boyfriend is more attractive than 98% of everyone else at my school.
I think most of it is the fact that everyone thinks we're book smart. And we dont play sports. I think that is most of the feeling weak scenario
be like ryan higa
[quote=Sunshinee]why would you want to change your race
S W A G
something we azns got.[/quote]
[url=http://dailypicksandflicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/mcdonalds-swag-who-needs-good-grades-heres-your-fries-sir.jpgv]Found you[/url]
OT: change yourself?
i never understood why asians were so feminine and always did these things that they thought were cute but really come off as wimpy and homosexual.
I know this 1/2 black 1/2 filipino 5'4'' dude and he's our quarterback. so... ya know it's really your choice bud. Don't get that gay asian haircut with the bowl like thing or any like volume you can flip like justin gay bieber. Get a buzzcut or a fade or a quality afro or dreadlocks, play out in the street, etc. and see who's gon come and say you're feminine.
Ofc you'll probably lose many of your fellow asian whipped friends but who needs whipped friends.
Also the girls who friendzoned you and now treat you like you're homosexual.
Those too. Say byebye.
[quote=RedWolf]I am already athletic and have friends; it's just I have a problem with respect as a man and as a normal person.[/quote]
So you're saying people dont respect you?
[quote=bikefreak22]@redwolf
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. You are a technicolor yawn. And did I mention that you smell?
-bikefreak[/quote]
And the harder I respond, the more that I understand that maybe what I said is not as bad as I think.
Height is all in the genetics, when will people stop being stereotypical.
[quote=PinapplePoPo]The problem isn't because you're Asian... It's cause you're short af (sorry o_o )[/quote]
I'm just 15 though, so yeah. Hawaii people are short, though.
Problem: I'm 5'2'' lol.
Asians are very funny (I act feminine for sheet and giggles), and as someone said, has a lot of swag, and you can feel great. You just gotta make it happen. Thats all.
Proud2beasian
Not really. I don't really care about how little I am since I'm a girl. As for guys, all of the Asian guys I've dated have been buff. My current boyfriend is bigger and taller than most of the guys on our campus of 30,000+ students .
[quote=deadlyzombie]LIFT AND GET AWESOME AT SPORT AND SOCIALISING be awesome[/quote]
I am already athletic and have friends; it's just I have a problem with respect as a man and as a normal person.
LIFT AND GET AWESOME AT SPORT AND SOCIALISING be awesome