11 year old drama
So my sister and her friends are all 11 and they're in the "dating" phase. They keep talking about it on the bus.
One of them got a text from this kid I know to be a huge jerk saying "I love you" and she texted back "I love you too" even though he's said nasty and rude stuff to her before. Plus, she's technically already "dating" someone else. B/c of that, she says every once in a while "I'm gonna go cry now" because of how torn up she feels.
This girl seems to be creating her own problems to get attention... She says she's said because she's "in love" with two guys, and she probably sees this to be a really big deal, but in reality it isn't. I get the feeling she's doing this because it's like a trend, but she's a pretty insecure and impulsive person. Even though I think it's dumb, I've known her since we were little, so what could I do to help her out, and maybe, get some sleep on the way home?
34 Comments • Newest first
[quote=LordZubin]If you ride her bus, that most likely means you're between the ages of eleven and fourteen, meaning you're in that "dating" phase as well. I feel too much condescension in this thread.[/quote]
Where I live, middle school and high schoolers ride the same bus. It could be the same wherever the TS lives.
When I was 11, I was but a mere boy, with an insatiable burning passion for girls. I knew how to subdue them all, and how to make sweet, sweet lub.
Oh yes, I was a player. ohohoho.
@Demonlord: Nah, it was more about the drama between Yu-Gi-Oh cards and such.
@workofart - that may actually work.. but remember, the girl's 11.
11 year olds probably won't get all that.
and it sorta seems like a stretch to be saying all that
>"But then you'll realize that your friends don't like you, they like the fact that you're dating. You'll be more alone than ever, you won't have any real friends, just admirers who want to learn from you, be like you, and then leave you in a ditch."
... doesn't make much sense to me :s
What are her grades?
1. Take her phone away. 11 year olds don't have phones.
2. Tell her she should stop saying stuff like " I love you" so easily, because words have deep meanings to some people.
3. 11 year olds can't date.
4. This isn't soap opera.
@Unwavered: Then why did you date?
@WorkOfArt: That's great advice, but I'd have to save it for later on, because they guys aren't really cute and she wouldn't give such a detailed response.
[quote=SuperJuls]That's pretty much why I don't agree with it.
Also, I don't think being physically abusive is a good idea...[/quote]
A good method I use when talking people out of bad decisions is playing mind games.
You go up to her and tell her just that. "You don't love him, you love the idea of having a boyfriend. You love the idea of having a cute guy who would sufficiently boost your reputation and popularity. You love the idea of being more mature than you already are. You're using love as an excuse to show yourself off to the world as a sophisticated and mature woman who's moved on far enough in order to begin dating at a young age. In reality, you're a coward. You hide behind these factors because you're too lazy to work for your reputation and popularity. You succumb to social pressures just because you want to be more popular. What you're doing is not mature, it's cowardly and disgusting."
Then she replies "No! You know nothing about me."
Then you reply "Oh? Then may I ask what your reason is?"
Then she replies "I love him."
You: "Again, you love the idea of having a boyfriend, you don't actually love him, and he doesn't love you, he thinks the same way."
Her: "He loves me for real!"
You: "You really think he loves you? If I were to approach him in a seductive fashion and start trying to make out with him, are you saying that he'll tell me to go away? I can do just that if you want me to. If he rejects me, that's only the easiest and first step of proving his love."
Her: "Well I still love him!"
You: "Why do you love him?"
Her: "Because! [lists reasons]
You: "[Lists counter arguments for all the reasons, connecting every reason to popularity and attention-seeking]"
her: "Well I just love him just because!"
You: "That's pathetic, and you know it. You're in complete denial. Do what you want, go ahead and be a loser with a boyfriend. Your friends will be impressed with you and you'll be happy. But then you'll realize that your friends don't like you, they like the fact that you're dating. You'll be more alone than ever, you won't have any real friends, just admirers who want to learn from you, be like you, and then leave you in a ditch."
It'll make her cry, but it may work.
[quote=WorkOfArt]Love? Pish posh, I'm 18, dated plenty, know what I'm looking for, had the chance to experience, but still have yet to experience true two sided love.
What she's thinking is "Oh, he's popular/cool/handsome, I think I love him!"
What he's thinking is "Omg, if I had a girlfriend I'd be so cool, everyone around would think I'm awesome."
It's kind of sickening actually.[/quote]
That's pretty much why I don't agree with it.
Also, I don't think being physically abusive is a good idea...
@SuperJuls: Indeed I have, my bad :I
[quote=DrHye]I stopped when I read that an eleven-year-old got a text
By the way, aren't you the one who had the super long haired brother? Your family apparently has a lot going on o.o[/quote]
Uh, no. I think you've mistaken me for someone else lol.
Honesty, I'd [b]beat[/b] some sense into that kid and be as abusive as possible.
I don't even know if you're emotionally mature enough at age eleven to be "in love" with someone...
[quote=SharkyJr]Do nothing. Let her suffer the consequences of her actions.[/quote]
Agreed.
So glad that [i]I[/i] don't have to watch out for some stupid kid like that.
puppy love. that's all it is. it's all fine and dandy til they explore the parts we all know and talk about.
Insecure and impulsive, two key traits to any well rounded human being.
They're 11....
They should be worried more about school than this
Love? Pish posh, I'm 18, dated plenty, know what I'm looking for, had the chance to experience, but still have yet to experience true two sided love.
What she's thinking is "Oh, he's popular/cool/handsome, I think I love him!"
What he's thinking is "Omg, if I had a girlfriend I'd be so cool, everyone around would think I'm awesome."
It's kind of sickening actually.
We have 11 year olds already dating/in a relationship? Yep so not going to work out.
Tell her to wait a few years before dating. If she doesn't listen she's just going to end up hurting herself because the result of her dating is getting involved in several relationships that will end with her breaking up with the guy (or the other way around) and she'll become even more insecure.
She's 11? Damn playaaaa PLAYAA STATUS RIGHT HUR. your her older sister yeah? Take responsibility and protect her?
I dont wanna live in this world anymore
[quote=zoomer8712]Slap to the face solves everything.[/quote]
/thread
haha sounds cute
If you ride her bus, that most likely means you're between the ages of eleven and fourteen, meaning you're in that "dating" phase as well. I feel too much condescension in this thread.
LOL I'm 15 and I never dated. Not planing to until I finish my studies and get a decent job.
Yes, it is a trend. This "dating phase" you speak of gets pushed back a few years every generation, and 95% of the time continues at least through high school, depending on the person. Little kids just think it's so cool to try to act like the bigger kids: choose one of their peers of the opposite gender, and treat them specially - not because they love them, but because it's what everyone else does. Then you're stuck with this extra responsibility you have to drag around and think about and pretend to care about, because it's what you see everybody else doing. And you know that one day you're going to have to get rid of this weight, because there's no way your relationship would ever become anything worth talking about. So then you end up with a bunch of ex's that don't do you any good.
Then, in high school, the reason for dating is not as much because others are doing it, but because of lust. Then the same process happens: they become deadweight in your life that you have to pretend to care about in order to get in their pants. Then you come to realize that this relationship just is not working out like you thought it would, and voila, you have even more ex's.
The only time the relationship does become worth talking about is when it's founded in true love, not the desire to conform or have sex. And about 99% of the time such love doesn't happen at least until the late teens, or early twenties.
Got a little off topic there. As you may have been able to tell, I was never a huge fan of dating before I got out of school. It's sooo pointless and it takes away from time you could have had for more productive things. My advice would be to tell your sister that the more she becomes involved with dating, the sadder and more stressed she'll become.
Clearly she's been watching too much dramas and reality shows.
Weird trend in kids these days.
[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ur5g0l93F2g]drama bomb.[/url]
I've never heard of children getting married when they started dating while their age was on the clock.
Do nothing. Let her suffer the consequences of her actions.
I stopped when I read that an eleven-year-old got a text
By the way, aren't you the one who had the super long haired brother? Your family apparently has a lot going on o.o
Lay down the facts tell her its not real love its just infatuation and to not do anything stupid because of it. If that doesn't work get lots of proof lock her in a room and make her read it ^.^. In a few years this phase will passover....hopefully.
In love? o_o LOL i don't think it's because of a trend, it's just that phase at that age.
Just tell her straight forward she doesn't love ANYONE. Pathetic..