dont you hate misunderstandings?
so i made a thread a while ago about losing friends, but i think they have a misunderstanding of me, but decide to hate me without confronting me.
long story short: they havent been in school for years and i didnt care you know? but they kept complaining and wanting to do something with their lives. (theyre my age which is 20.) so i helped them apply for community college and got them an account so that they can get started on the application process, but they thought i was going to do everything for them... like help them with paper work, scheduling the entrance exam, etc. and im two cities away.
the funnier part is they're mad at me for not helping them. im not mad at them at all, but so deeply upset why they have to block me on everything. like all ive done was help them, but they dont want to go to college by themselves. and i didnt push it on them to go because its their choice in the end. but the fact that they have to do this to me upsets me to the fullest.
how about you? did you have any intention of being nice to people, but they took it the wrong way?
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I've had so many misunderstandings with friends both during high school and university. The big difference is, my uni friends actually talk to me and confront me about whatever the issue is that caused the misunderstanding and we fight about it and talk it out. There were 2 incidents (with 2 different people) where I thought it was the end of our friendship but we always work it out. It's been 3-4 years since I last had a fight with those 2 people and we're still close and hang out almost every week.
When I was in high school, on the other hand, I had these 2 "best friends" that I talked to everyday in 10th grade. In grade 11 I had my first boyfriend and maybe they felt neglected or something, but basically they just stopped talking to me and whenever I tried to talk to them they just ignored me. They blocked me from Facebook and MSN and wouldn't even look at me in school. To this day, I still don't know what exactly I did to make them hate me so much because they never told me. How was I supposed to fix it and make it up to them if they don't tell me what I did wrong in the first place? Of course this bugged me a lot at the time and I was upset that I lost their friendship, but now, 7 years later and not a word has been exchanged between us, I couldn't care less about them. I realized that the friends I have now are way better friends than those 2 people in high school because my friends actually care enough to have an argument with me and work out our problems or misunderstandings, instead of just ignoring me.
OP, maybe they were your best friends before but people change. If they act petty and just decide to hate you without talking it through with you first, then maybe they're not as good friends as you thought.
This thread was made for me.
"I want to help you. We can accomplish this together but you have to meet me halfway." Sounds like they don't want to commit OP.
Yea like, when you think you're just having an innocent conversation and suddenly she asks for your number and starts throwing hints...
you opened the door for them, now they have to go through it.
yeah i had some misunderstandings with some friends back in high school. they made a good friend of mine to start treating me like crap. so i eventually started to ignore them and move on.
I don't have any misunderstanding because I don't even know what this person is even thinking.
So I cut ties with her and hopefully we will be better off even if it means not being in each others lives.
It doesn't work when only one person wants to fix the problem.
CUT THEM LOOSE, they are only slowing you behind.
I'm dealing with a misunderstanding with one of my friends now.
We bought the Master Chief collection upon release because we were talking about how we wanted to really sink our teeth into a deep coop game together. I grew up on Halo and was always a big fan, but he was completely new to the series. As we started playing, it really started to seem like he didn't have any interest in the game. He checked his phone while playing, didn't watch the cutscenes, didn't follow the story, and often left halfway through missions because of some other obligation. Eventually, he just stopped showing up to play.
So I figured this was okay. Some people don't like Halo and that's fine. But he was talking to me about how he wanted to start playing again (after months of not playing), and I thought he was forcing himself to play. Every time we play together he looks like he's pulling teeth. I didn't want to be playing Halo together with someone who was so obviously not interested in it.
I told him all of this, I told him that I thought he wasn't enjoying Halo and that he shouldn't feel obligated to play it together with me, I was gonna buy the Master Chief collection with or without him. My hope was that he would say okay, accept that he doesn't actually want to play Halo, and that would be that. But he insists that he actually does want to play, and that all the things he does (checking phone, leaving mid-session) aren't a sign of boredom.
It's a very weird misunderstanding. Maybe I'm wrong and he actually does want to play Halo. Or maybe he's misunderstanding my intentions and is getting defensive (it probably seems like I'm accusing him and attacking him for disliking Halo, when the truth is that I just don't want him to do something he doesn't want to do). But he messaged me saying that he was busy with school and things and wouldn't be coming to play Halo, which is fine with me. I think it's his way of saving face and avoiding Halo without just outright saying that he doesn't want to play, which is silly because I'm totally fine with it if he doesn't like the game.
i think im thinking of wrong person but i havnt seen you on basil for years i think. maybe different avatar but i remember reading some of your threads from when i was still in high school. OT: people change, some people stay with that high school mentality and think they should be spoon fed thier entire life, dont slow your progress for them, even if they helped you a bunch at one point dosnt mean you should sacrifice personal happiness
[quote=Thiefy996]Why would ya even feel anything but the utmost contempt for these people.[/quote]
because, they actually were like family to me when i had nowhere to go to. my parents divorced last year, my dad got very violent with me and my brother, and when my first love cheated on me, they always opened their home for me. of course, i didnt freeload. i work two jobs, so i know how to take care of myself, but i needed to be alone from home.
but i dont understand this, of all the things, this is what will ruin us. i just was being a good friend, but i dont know. i just wish it didnt have to be this because its such an easy problem to fix. for all the years ive known them, this shouldnt be the problem. but apparently, it is.
Sounds like you are better off with out them. I would find new friends. There are better people out there that wont be so ungrateful.
Sounds like some pretty terrible friends. That's a bit too pathetic, imo. Cut your losses. These friends aren't worth it.
OH. OT: Nah, I don't have these problems. I usually don't ever go out of my way to do nice things for people. Since I never offer, no one really puts weird expectations on me like your example. I mean, if my friends ask me to help them, I'll do everything in my power to help them or give them great advice, but if I fail then they don't get mad since I didn't offer to be put in this position in the first place. Plus, I'm a blunt person, so I'm pretty sure after completing a task for a friend, I would make sure they know I'm done with their stuff and moving back to my stuff.
Sounds like a dependapotamus. Nothing you can do but move on. Life will always have people who won't be held accountable for themselves. I have some very similar experiences to what you're describing.