General

Chat

I need to get this off my chest

what is this...

September 2, 2014

29 Comments • Newest first

fradddd

"To know what would have happened, child?" said Aslan. "No. Nobody is ever told that."

Reply September 4, 2014
SodiumOH

These kind of stories always make me sad. It's because it reminds me of my relative who died of lung cancer complications. He was a smoker. Don't smoke dude, it will damage you later.

Reply September 4, 2014
fradddd

Pretty simple plot, acting was okay for an indie film. 3.5/5

Reply September 4, 2014
nindow

@OnlineMusic: its ok letting it out cause in my experience, it prevents a person from doing stupid stuff.

Reply September 4, 2014
OnlineMusic

@nindow: Thanks, I appreciate it man; if I got to pick it'd be pizza. It really feels good having let that out of my system.

I've been sharing a lot with basil lately, it feels weird.

Reply September 4, 2014 - edited
nindow

@OnlineMusic and @coast honestly, if you guys lived near my area, i would have taken you guys to a restaurant or something like that and tell you guys "its on me". reading your stories made me feel happy and sad at the same time. based on my what i've seen and experienced, it's rare to find people who realized that they were extreme assholes and apologizing the person that was the focus of their actions while having said person forgive the asshole.

Reply September 3, 2014 - edited
OnlineMusic

[quote=iDrinkOJ]sounds like a wonderful girl. love you no matter you did and accepted you. i love people that are extremely kind, accepting, loving, and forgiving. good read. hopefully she'll end up with someone as nice as she is. too bad you let her go....but i guess it's all for the best.
i made a girl cry one this one time, the weird thing was i kinda like that she cried and showed emotion. does that make me a masochist? i don't like it when people never show emotion, like they don't even care about you or the relationship. i'm like you DO really care...you cried over me. i'm wierd like that.[/quote]

That's somewhat how i felt when she cried, I don't know if that's weird if us, I think its because I saw her as vulnerable I was and seeing her like that made me feel better but I did feel little guilt. If I made a girl (or a person in general) cry now I'd kick myself in the ass for it. She really is a sweetheart and hope the best for her.

@coast our stories are pretty similar and you went into greater detail, thanks for sharing. Once I fix my damn computer I might make a more detailed clean edit.

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
iDrinkOJ

sounds like a wonderful girl. love you no matter you did and accepted you. i love people that are extremely kind, accepting, loving, and forgiving. good read. hopefully she'll end up with someone as nice as she is. too bad you let her go....but i guess it's all for the best.
i made a girl cry one this one time, the weird thing was i kinda like that she cried and showed emotion. does that make me a masochist? i don't like it when people never show emotion, like they don't even care about you or the relationship. i'm like you DO really care...you cried over me. i'm wierd like that.

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
katrie

[quote=coast]something similar. i think i posted a brief summary of this in a "worst thing you've ever done" type thread but here's a more complete version. it's incredibly late and i'm feeling rather pensive. i'll try to transcribe my fragmented thoughts into coherent sentences.

saw her at the mall about a year ago. she, with her girls. me, with my boys. our eyes briefly met before she turned to her girls, said something, and whisked away. i was the wildfire that engulfed her heart and scathed her soul. i knew.

several years prior, we met at an apartment party through mutual friends during our junior year. she was lovely. the nicest, most hopelessly romantic social butterfly who fell for this shell of a boy. i slept around. no commitments. detached. devoid. she knew. i made it clear that i didn't like her. still, she did. her friends kept pestering me to give her chance and i eventually caved. i went in knowing that i didn't like her enough as i should have, as someone should have, and it was a mistake to try to develop sufficient feelings from a place where there were none, at least, none for her. she was patient and understanding though. maybe she thought she could house my vagabond heart. i don't know. it was apparent that i didn't feel the same, and it quickly showed. ignored texts upset her, but she stuck with me. little cracks. she gave me all she had. wore her heart on her sleeve. shared her insecurities. loved what couldn't. i grew weary though. my lack of love for her escalated into lust for other women but i still couldn't bear to break up with her after all that i took from her. i was afraid that she wouldn't be okay. the relationship dragged on to a point where silence became the norm for us. i was rarely with her and when i was, i was mindlessly distant despite our physical proximity. she asked me what was wrong and i reassured her that it was nothing she should worry about. i lied. she knew. i went to a party a few days later while she was studying for a midterm. i told her i'd be there and she trusted me like usual. i cheated on her with a close friend of hers. i knew what i was doing, what i did, why. i wanted out, but it was the most contradictory, wicked thing i could have done to end it. i don't quite understand [i]how[/i] i could have done that to her though, especially in that way. i told her. she was devastated. never have i hurt anyone to those depths before. i didn't even apologize or try to console her. i just...left.

i told my boys not to wait for me as i chased her down the escalator and into the restroom hallway. i shouted her name several times with no response until she turned around and said, "just leave." i replied, "no. i'm sorry." she gazed at me with eyes of oceans. hollow depths that couldn't be reached. the girl i once knew wasn't there anymore, just a shell of who she once was. hollow. gone? no, different. she sighed and sat down next to the vending machine with her back against the blank wall. i went over and sat with her. i looked over and noticed that her hands were trembling. i held them in mine without thinking. silence. we just sat like that for an hour amidst the weird stares from the few passersby heading into and out of the restrooms. we didn't care. it was just me and her, and for once, the comfort of silence between us. "i'm sorry," i said again. "i know," she answered before getting up and leaving.

i haven't talked to her since. she's changed, but i also underestimated her strength. she's seemingly ordinary but profoundly significant to me.[/quote]

I almost cried ohmygosh

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
OnlineMusic

@ritopls if it matters she's mixed hispanic/white

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
RitoPls

Is she Asian?

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
P3pp3rF1sh

Nice story, and I agree with whoever said finally something interesting to read haha. It's also interesting comparing your own relationships and life experiences with others so thank you for this thread OP

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
OnlineMusic

[quote=Yohsei]because i respect and have a fondness for you (you have good music taste) my reply won't be as cynical as i usually make it towards others but it will be honest and this is from my own personal experience which is eerily similar to yours

you said yourself "the thought in my mind is what could have been. I really messed up something that could have been special" you should really stop thinking this because nothing would have been and even if by god's grace you guys got together for some weirdass reason you would be miserable after a week

why? you only think you like her because you used her as a rebound for your ex girlfriend and because she displayed these feelings of love and kindness and caring while you were in a vulnerable state you grew attached to her

but you also said so yourself "i couldn't get into the relationship at all. to be fair there was nothing wrong with her, she was very nice and sweet, pretty average looking and had a perky personality" you couldn't get into the relationship at all because although she had a "perky personality" she wasn't someone who flowed with you or good for you you want someone who is like you not someone who would turn their noses up at weed and cigs because see everybody wants somebody nice but they want something more. and that something more is what sparks a relationship and she doesn't have it

that's why you were able to ignore her texts and give one words responses and have a complete lack of sympathy for her and i bet deep down inside you really didn't give a crap if she broke down and cried even though common sense and good morals dictate that you should

you met her today after a long time and those feelings rush back and you think about what could have been but in reality nothing would have been because she's not a match for you and that's that you simply feel bad because she likes you and you don't reciprocate those feelings

again i have been in the same scenario as you so i'd like to think that we're similar in a way so what i just said is basically what i told myself and it worked[/quote]

I typed this on my ipod because my computer isn't working but I accidentely deleted my original post was longer but oh well. This is going to be all over the place

Let me clear up that I had no intention of winning her back and getting back with her. We're both moving on but, as contradictory as it sounds it doesn't hurt wonder how it would've end up had I not been a jerk and put in some effort, I'm not heart broken just touched by her kindness.

I can't say I was attached to her, I didn't appreciate her at the time but I did know she was a good person, I did say I used her as an ego boost because who doesn't like feeling loved? It was wrong but like I said so many times already I was an asshat.

We didn't have a spark but it doesn't help that I didn't try and put in effort. I did think she was too prudish for my angsty "edginess" and that was really immature of me to think. You're right I was able to make her cry because I didn't care. I do have a heart, however, I did feel very, very little guilt but I was able to easily shrug it off. We did have our moments when I wasn't being as jerk, I suppose that's why she stuck around.

Again, you're right i do feel bad I didn't feel the same way she did for me, and like I said it didn't help that im didn't put the effort to make things work. Dem feels did hit me,I just closed a chapter

Crap, I meant to edit my post not quote...

Also thanks to the people who read this. It's cool to hear this is somewhat helping some of you

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
infiniteIQx

@OnlineMusic and @coast, you guys both had really touching stories. If anything, thanks for sharing. It really gives us insight into what it means to have things weigh down on your conscience.

I've gotten into some not-too-serious fights with my girlfriend before, but the two of us have always ended up reconciling our differences on the matter, talking things over, and apologizing to each other. I think your experiences definitely show that it's not worth the guilt to just leave someone with no crutch or support. That's to say, even if you're breaking up with someone, if you're even partially at fault for the break up, you should own up to those mistakes. If you're simply breaking up because something's been missing in the relationship, at least make it clear that they're not at fault and be decent enough to respect them.

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
MateoCl

This is adorable, but you were a jackass. It's cool that you owned up to it though. Good on you.

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
Wanton

aw thats cute.

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
taotapp

[quote=OnlineMusic]The next day, she texted me if we're still good; I ignored her texts. She then sent me one last text asking if we're still friends and I simply texted "no". That was the end of the relationship. I would see her around school and when we made eye contact she'd smile and wave while I turned my cheek to her and ignored her. My friend told me she was really hurt by my actions and would cry on a daily basis. I simply shrug off what he told me and never looked back.
[/quote]

ahhhh
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

At first I skipped the backstory and went straight to the final paragraph. Then I went back and read through everything and now I wish I hadn't. At least you ended up apologizing to her, so I guess there's that. Some people don't even get that much.

Still. AHHHHH

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
enoch129

Finally. Something interesting to read.

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
strenling

That's actually really touching and relate-able. Right down to the perky, good morals, etc. ex-girlfriend that was treated in a way that you wish you didn't..
Wow.
Y'know, reading this and looking at my life, I kinda wish I could've changed that as well.

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
Kiirori

Lik dis if u cri evrytiem.

You should get back with her, and then write more stories about your relationship.

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
OnlineMusic

[quote=Yohsei]because i respect and have a fondness for you (you have good music taste) my reply won't be as cynical as i usually make it towards others but it will be honest and this is from my own personal experience which is eerily similar to yours

you said yourself "the thought in my mind is what could have been. I really messed up something that could have been special" you should really stop thinking this because nothing would have been and even if by god's grace you guys got together for some weirdass reason you would be miserable after a week

why? you only think you like her because you used her as a rebound for your ex girlfriend and because she displayed these feelings of love and kindness and caring while you were in a vulnerable state you grew attached to her

but you also said so yourself "i couldn't get into the relationship at all. to be fair there was nothing wrong with her, she was very nice and sweet, pretty average looking and had a perky personality" you couldn't get into the relationship at all because although she had a "perky personality" she wasn't someone who flowed with you or good for you you want someone who is like you not someone who would turn their noses up at weed and cigs because see everybody wants somebody nice but they want something more. and that something more is what sparks a relationship and she doesn't have it

that's why you were able to ignore her texts and give one words responses and have a complete lack of sympathy for her and i bet deep down inside you really didn't give a crap if she broke down and cried even though common sense and good morals dictate that you should

you met her today after a long time and those feelings rush back and you think about what could have been but in reality nothing would have been because she's not a match for you and that's that you simply feel bad because she likes you and you don't reciprocate those feelings

again i have been in the same scenario as you so i'd like to think that we're similar in a way so what i just said is basically what i told myself and it worked[/quote]

Edited. Thanks for your input bro, I'm going to bed, I'll edit this post tomorrow

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
Yohsei

because i respect and have a fondness for you (you have good music taste) my reply won't be as cynical as i usually make it towards others about love and all that but it will be honest and this is from my own personal experience which is eerily similar to yours

you said yourself "the thought in my mind is what could have been. I really messed up something that could have been special" you should really stop thinking this because nothing would have been and even if by god's grace you guys got together for some weirdass reason you would be miserable after a week

why? you only think you like her because you used her as a rebound for your ex girlfriend and because she displayed these feelings of love and kindness and caring while you were in a vulnerable state you grew attached to her because who doesn't like to feel loved?

but you also said so yourself "i couldn't get into the relationship at all. to be fair there was nothing wrong with her, she was very nice and sweet, pretty average looking and had a perky personality" you couldn't get into the relationship at all because although she had a "perky personality" she wasn't someone who flowed with you or good for you you want someone who is like you not someone who would turn their noses up at weed and cigs because see everybody wants somebody nice but they want something more. and that something more is what sparks a relationship and she doesn't have it (you can also tell it won't work because even after all that time she still rejects the idea of anything rolled in a blunt;; and don't lie to me and say you quit drugs)

that's why you were able to ignore her texts and give one words responses and have a complete lack of sympathy for her and i bet deep down inside you really didn't give a crap if she broke down and cried even though common sense and good morals dictate that you should

you met her today after a long time and those feelings rush back and you think about what could have been but in reality nothing would have been because she's not a match for you and that's that you simply feel bad because she likes you and you don't reciprocate those feelings

again i have been in the same scenario as you so i'd like to think that we're similar in a way so what i just said is basically what i told myself and it worked

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
OnlineMusic

[quote=Yohsei]want me to be honest or do you want me to give you words of encouragement that'll most likely do nothing cause i've been in this exact scenario[/quote]

You could be honest. share your opinion,give words of encouragement or w/e. You're free to make comments on this even if the comment is bashing me idc, I just needed to let it out somewhere

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
Yohsei

want me to be honest or do you want me to give you words of encouragement that'll most likely do nothing cause i've been in this exact scenario

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
OnlineMusic

@usuklolxp: No problem, glad this thread was of some use to you

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
usuklolxp

@OnlineMusic No joke, but I just broke up with my girlfriend. For some reason this thread gave me courage to finally get something "off my chest." Thanks man.

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
OnlineMusic

Thanks for reading that monster wall of text guys, I actually got chills typing that.

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
usuklolxp

Glad you cleaned up after your bad behaviour.

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited
BridgeJump

Bravo for turning around and owning up to your actions

OT: there was this, to be blunt, fat girl in elementary school. Of course, we made fun of and outcasted her. Even spread "Ammie-germs" around as a joke. 6 years later, the guilt still lingers. I only apologized at the teachers command, but idk if it was good enough. There's some odd tension everytime we pass by each other, now in highschool.

Reply September 2, 2014 - edited